Smile // GOT7 Jinyoung

35. awake

Lee Mina's POV:

Misery, darkness, pain, cries.

these are what I will say if someone asks me, "What does it feel like to be in coma?"

It was an absolute hell and torture i'd never want to go back to. You can hear everyone around you, you can hear their loud begging, praying, crying just for you to wake up, but you can't do anything about it.

You feel people's presences, those people close to your heart. you can feel them sitting or standing right next to you. You can feel their hands touch yours, cup your face, kiss your forehead. You can feel their tears of sorrow dripping on your lifeless skin.

but you can't do anything about it.

you're trapped inside, with no ability. All you get is the pity from everyone around. You can't wipe their tears away, nor comfort them when they're sad. You can't tell them your response when hearing their true feelings.

I couldn't tell him I like him back.

My heart was screaming, shouting, crying in pain as he was saying those words.

I wish i could kiss him, like the kiss we shared on the rooftop. I wish I could look into those dazzling eyes that always saw the beauty in me. That beautiful angel that he is that will forever be in my heart.

I wish.

Because I would never want to do anything that hurt him; I don't want to break him like I did a decade ago.

I heard his heart, and every part of it, everyone's as well. Their longing and pain. They were feeling as horrible as I was.

And it was more than enough to give me the strength to fight.

I stared out my hospital room window, sitting straight in my bed. The top view of the garden clearly seen as the sky turns a mixture of yellow and orange, indicating the close presence of nighttime.

"Do you need anything, dear?" My grandma asked, walking up to me but doesn't sit.

I shook my head but when she was just about to walk away, I took her hand into mine.

she didn't look to surprised and just sat down beside me still holding hands. She's all I got right now because mom went out to call relatives and close friends to update them of my condition as I woke up a few hours earlier. I have no idea if she called any of my friends back at home.

"Tell me stories, grandma." I said, loud enough to make sure she heard it, old age and all.

She smiled and sat down but I scooted sideways so she could lie down whilst holding me in her arms, just like old times.

"Your grandpa was a really great man." She started. "We were an arranged marriage."

I let out a gasp. It is the first time I'm hearing this after all.

Grandma chuckled and continued on.

"I knew him because of the small amount of population in the village so everyone basically knew each other. Then our parents decided to arrange us when i was 19 and he was 20. We had no other choice, and I was quite sad..at first." She paused to breathe.

"Because I was already happy helping out my mother with the house chores and I loved the few farm animals we had. I was contented."

I just listened intently.

"So when I heard the news, I wanted to protest, but the feeling of not wanting to disappoint my parents was higher than that. So I just agreed."

She smiled, as if she's reaching the good part of the story.

"Your grandpa, he must've noticed. So everyday, before he goes to work in the fields, he leaves a note somewhere in the house."

"What did they say?" I asked.

"Well, stuff like 'hope you have a great day!', 'Don't over work yourself doing chores', or just reminders like he'll be home late so I shouldn't wait for him."

"He's really sweet." I say.

"He is." She grinned. "And occasionally, he would pick out a flower on his way home and gives it to me as soon as he gets back."

I was smiling too, cheeks starting to hurt from all of it.

"And he smiled so much while I frowned a lot. He was trying to cheer me up." She said.

"Then one night, I was out in the yard by a tree just in front of the house by myself. I was surprised when he joined me."

"I didn't realize I was looking sad so he told me quietly, 'I didn't want this either' and kept apologizing. Tears streamed down his face." She let out a sigh. "It didn't occur to me that he felt the same thing, but he still chose to make me happy than himself. He did all those things for me when he also needed them."

"I was selfish. I only thought of myself without even thinking that he might not have wanted an arranged marriage too."

I gasped again.

"What happened next?" I softly asked.

"I sadly smiled and my eyes were tearing up as well. Right then and there, I realized what a selfish person I have been. I wiped his tears with my fingers...." She spoke.

"Then?" I smiled at my grandma as she stroked my hair. She smiled too.

"Without much thought, I held his face and softly kissed him under the beautiful night sky, and under thousands of twinkling stars." She whispered.

I let out a squeal.

"Then when we pulled away I said, 'We can make this work'. Then he smiled at me, a real one, the most dazzling one. I almost fainted of giddiness because that's the most handsome he's ever been in my eyes."

Her eyes are starting to tear up too. She must miss him so much right now.

"It's the most beautiful story I've ever heard." I said. "The old setting makes it even better."

"Thanks, dear." She chuckled. "I just want to let you know that when an opportunity comes, grab on to it. Time isn't right? That's okay, at least you tried, and you'll try again until it gets right."

"Yes, grandma." I grinned.

"So here," she hands me a familiar rectangular-shaped thing. "Call someone."

I became stunned as I took my phone from her delicate and wrinkled hands.

She left the room as I sat there, unsure of what to do.

I only stared at it for what feels like forever, but realized that no one's taking this thing away from me anytime soon.

I scrolled through my contacts and called.

I felt nervous and my knees were trembling under the white hospital blankets.

After a really long time of just ringing, he finally answered.

["He...H-hello?"]

I smiled a little. I took a shaky breath and spoke.

"H-hey, Song Yoonjae."

^^^^^^^
Helloooo! Just wanted to say that grandma's story right there really touched me.

So should i make something out of it? It would be really cool to write a story with vintage setting and have the "old times" vibe. What do you think?

Much love,
Ana