Ivy's Origins

Chapter 10

        He deserved it. He deserved it. He deserved it. Damn it, Pamela! You deserve it! You shouldn’t be alive! That experiment should’ve killed you! It… It did kill you! My breathing got shakier the further I drove. I kept trying to tell myself I did the right thing, (which I did!) but it was hard to grasp onto this new concept that there were evil people in the world when I once saw the world as such a beautiful place. It is beautiful, when not plagued with mankind, that is. I lost my faith in humanity that day. And some say I lost my grip on reality. But, I say, I got a clearer mind.

        I pulled up to the driveway of my house. It was late so I had hoped no one would see me make several trips to my car, taking out crates of makeup and experimental chemicals. When the last crate was placed into my living room I shut the front door and slid down it, exhaling deeply. I looked around at the stolen items before me. It was far better that these objects be in my care than in the corrupt. Clara would’ve poisoned hundreds. Or, gotten rid of it without experimentation. Woodrue would’ve continued to test on innocent women and no one would question his motives as he was the poster child for Gotham’s biochemical research facility. I sighed as I realized my living room wasn’t the best hiding place for the crates. I got up and started putting them in various places where I knew no one would look. Once I was done, I walked back into the living room and glanced at the kitchen. I bit my lip then walked towards the cabinets. In one, I found a liquor bottle that Harvey had gotten me for our anniversary a few months back. I never usually drank but he jokingly told me I might need it one day if he wasn’t around to comfort me. Well, joke or not, that day was the day. I popped the top open and drank straight from the bottle. After a sip, I slammed it down on the counter and shut my eyes at the sour and unfamiliar taste dancing on my tongue. I gulped, opening my eyes again. Man, was it strong. I walked over to my sofa and sat the bottle on the side table beside me.

        What a wreck I was. How did my life turn upside down so quickly? Just a few days prior to the incident, I was just a normal woman, living a normal life, and-

        What if… what if it’s better I’m not normal?

        Pam, don’t even think that. If you were to just remain normal, none of this would’ve happened. It’s all your fault. Harvey wouldn’t be in the hospital and you would have a job!

        If I was normal, I wouldn’t have been able to stop Dr. Woodrue from concocting his horrid experiments!

        So what?! Your boyfriend is in the hospital because you poisoned him.

        Dr. Woodrue made me that way!

        And you killed him for it. What woman in her right mind would do something like that?! No one! You’re not in your right mind, Pamela. You’ve gone crazy. Insane. And everything is all your fault!

        “STOP!” I yelled in the silence of my own home. My vision got blurry as I glanced at the bottle in my hand which had somehow gotten about half empty. The room started spinning and I stumbled to get off the couch, placing the bottle on the side table once again.

        Monster. Insane. Psychopath. Evil. Poisonous.

        “STOP! STOP! STOP!” I cried out, tripping over my own feet. My mind was spinning just as much as the room.

        Unfeeling venomous murderer.

        Tears began to stream down my face as I tried to use the coffee table to balance myself but my hand slipped. I fell to the floor then flipped my hair out of my face. I looked forward, trying my best to refocus my vision to no avail. My mind continued to race, blaming myself for everything. I shut my eyes closed tight then flung my arm around to knock everything off the coffee table.

        “ENOUGH!” A vase shattered on the floor. I got up and stumbled further towards the kitchen. My heart felt like it was going to fly out of my chest but I simply grit my teeth and started throwing whatever I could around. I smashed plates. I threw glasses at the walls. Soon after, though, all my anger changed into worry. I dropped the plate I was holding and put my hands over my face, rubbing my temples in the process. I did the right thing. I did.

        I slowly and shakily took my hands away from my face to look down at my wrists, a tear falling onto my green veins. It wasn’t my fault I was like this. But, I had become something different. I decided to embrace it. I could avenge the weak, punish the corrupt, …save the planet.

        Save the planet?! Ha! You can’t even save your own boyfriend. You’ll push people away. You’ll never save anyone.

        Somehow my watery eyes had become a waterfall of tears. I hadn’t cried like that in a very long time. I shook my head rapidly, fighting within myself. I was so weak. I hated it. I hated it with every inch of my being. I was so sick and tired of being used.

        So, do something about it.

        I will…

        I would become Gotham’s Mother Nature. I realize now that that was my destiny all along. I was never meant to become Pamela Isley. I was meant to be Poison Ivy. Of course, I didn’t know that yet. I nodded to myself, sliding down the counter, hugging my knees to my chest, sitting on the cold tiled floor. My eyes started fluttering to a close but I tried my best to keep them open. With my blurred vision and watery eyes, it seemed stupid to even try to keep myself awake. I couldn’t see anyway.

        I’ll become something great.

        A yawn escaped my lips.

        I will.

        My eyes shut to a close.

        People...will respect me…

        My back slid against the counter and I landed on my side, curled up on the floor.

        ...Even fear me…