Over And Over, Again And Again. (Sanders Sides Fic)

Stop..please?

Warnings: Swearing, shouting, panic. Please inform me if there’s any more that I missed.

_______________

“What’s happening, what..what is this?” I question. Thomas never makes videos days in a row. Is he doing daily videos now? I certainly hope not, that would definitely cause a lot of stress, and then guess who would have to do more work? That’s right, me. Like they would care anyway.

“We’re making a video, kiddo!” Patton answers happily. Now that I look around, everyone seems completely fine, like nothing ever happened.

“Is this a joke?” I look over to Thomas, who seems confused.

“Why would this be a joke?”

..

Okay? Maybe they don’t really care about yesterday and just need me to show up for the video. Thomas probably edited out that whole argument, so the fanders probably don’t know about it. Which means, they all have to act like they don’t remember, or like it never happened, for the sake of the fanders. Yeah, that’s gotta be it. Though, would Thomas really do this? Lie to his fans all for a video, and probably all the future video’s, too? He’ll always have to act like nothing happened, they all will. He’s a good actor, he can certainly pull it off but-

“Virgil?” I snap out of my thoughts as I hear my name be called.

“Yes, Roman?” If they’re really going to do this, than I have to go along with it. Like Princey said, I don’t have to bring everyone down with me. I don’t have to ruin Thomas’ videos. I’ll only be more of a burden, after all.

“You seem a little off today, are you alright?” He asks, actually looking a bit concerned.

I try to refrain from a snarky comment. Does he really have to rub it in? Like okay, Princey, I fucking get it. You don’t want me here, I’m a burden. I absolutely despise that concerned look on his face, as if he actually cares.

“ ’m fine,”

He hesitates for a second, then continues speaking to Thomas about the same exact ideas as yesterday, waving his arms around the exact same way. Patton reacts the exact same way, along with Logan. If I remember correctly, they’re all saying the same thing, too.

What the hell?

“Wait, woah, stop!” I half shout, gaining their attention. “You could at least inform me on what’s going on.”

“We’re going through ideas. Are you even listening? You know, I work hard to make these ideas.” Princey looks a little offended.

“Yeah, I get that, but if you’re re-making the video, you could at least inform me. I’ll go along with it, just tell me next time.” I avoid making eye contact and look to the floor.

“What do you mean re-making? Are you implying that my ideas aren’t original?” Princey shoots, rather angrily.

“N-no, Princey. Wait, stop!” I could feel an argument coming on now. I don’t really understand it, but anger seems to be taking over me rather quickly.

“You know what, Virgil? I don’t appreciate you waltzing in here and shooting down my ideas that I’ve been working on for a significantly long time now.”

“I’m not-” He cuts me off.

“And ya know? We’ve all been working very hard to make the ideas better. Though, I don’t see you helping with anything. You can’t just show up here and start dissing every idea we come up with, Virgil!” He shouts, anger crossing his face, seeping into his words. Though, his words send chills down my spine. This can’t be real, right? Those last words, he’d said that yesterday. The exact same words in the exact same order. Maybe I’m just over thinking this, it’s merely a coincidence, right? Nothing more, nothing less.

“It’s my job, it’s what I do.” I defend, but my stomach churns as the words escape my mouth. I said that yesterday..didn’t I..?

“No, your job is to keep Thomas from harm, to keep him safe! Your job is to make sure Thomas doesn’t do anything stupid that can get him hurt! What you’re doing is holding him back from everything, from having fun and following his dreams!” His anger filled words send a spear through my chest. I’m dreaming, it’s just a nightmare. It has to be, this can’t just be a coincidence anymore. It’s too much. Everything he says..I’ve already heard it. This already happened..

“I..” I pause, hoping that if I don’t speak, this will all stop, but than again. I did this yesterday, didn’t I? The exact same damn thing. Why won’t it stop? Make it stop, make it stop, make it st-

“You’re what? You’re sorry? How many times are you going to say that? We get it, you’re pitiful, but you don’t have to bring us all down with you!”

Stop, stop, stop, STOP IT!

Other voices begin to pierce through the room, but I can’t focus on them. I can’t focus. I can’t.. I can’t stop it. I’m loosing control.

“You’re an asshole! It’s not like I asked to be the bad guy! Why are you always the damn hero? What do you even do except get Thomas’ hopes up for something that’ll never actually happen!” I cover my mouth with my hands, gaining my control back. Did I just..

Make it stop..please.

“Well it’s better to hope than not do anything at all!” Stop… “You always stop him from doing what he wishes, from having a social life!” Stop. “You’re just a burden, a disorder!”

STOP!