Over And Over, Again And Again. (Sanders Sides Fic)

Not a Lie

Warnings: Shouting, panic attack, fluff. Please inform me if there are any more.

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I look away, feeling a sense of uneasiness as the tears start to fall from his eyes. It only makes me want to give in and believe the words that spill out of his mouth, but I know I can't do that. He's lying, pretending. Maybe he thinks I'll duck out again, and leave Thomas with no sense of worry. Or maybe he's just doing his prince job, trying to save me. I just want him to tell the truth is all.

"Virgil, ple-ase don't shut me out," ... "I'm going to tell Thomas."

"No!" I react quickly.

..."Thomas!"

"Stop!"

"THOMAS!"

The sound of footsteps running up the stairs sends chills down my spine. I begin to copy Roman as tears fall from my eyes. I curl into myself, my heart pounding in an uneven pattern. What have I done, what have I done, what have I done?

The door slams open and in the others come, rushing over.

"What happened, what's wrong?" Thomas questions in a hurry, nearly falling over.

"Thomas, tell Virgil he's not a disorder!" Roman orders, pointing at me. His eyes are already red.

I cover my ears and try to hide my tear streaked face behind my knees. "Tell Roman to stop lying!" I shudder.

"Woah, hey, Virgil you-"

Roman cuts Thomas off, "I'm not lying!" He shouts loudly, sounding frustrated. I flinch at the loud noise. Loud, too loud. "Don't you ever think that I'd lie to you!" Loud, too loud, too loud.

The sound of a menacing, high pitched ringing fills my ears, driving me up the wall. I cover my ears as if that'll help.

Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!

"Virge? It's alright. I didn't mean to shout." Roman is sat on his knees in front of me, wiping away his tears. When did he get there? When did..the others get so close? What's happening? "Virgil, calm down. You need to calm down,"

"Kiddo, it's alright. Nothing's going to hurt you."

The room spins violently, I close my eyes. I submerge in the darkness as everything seems to fade.

Lies, they're nothing but lies. Everything I know is just a lie, made up to make a fool out of me. Made up to cause nothing but harm. Don't give in to them. Don't let them take over, and most importantly, don't ever be fooled by them again. Never again.

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...

A massive bright light pours in through my eyelids, only staying for half of a second. It's followed by a loud booming sound, making me jump. I throw my eyes open as the loud sound echoes and lingers.

"Just a thunderstorm, Winnie the blue." A voice speaks from above. I look up,

Roman?

"Did you know you talk in your sleep? Or rather, mumble. It's absolutely adorable." He speaks. The sound of singing catches my attention. It appears we're in the living room, Roman's watching a Disney movie. I could easily tell that it's Nightmare Before Christmas, even though my vision a a little blurred. Roman mouths the words to the song, knowing them all by heart. It wouldn't be Roman if he didn't know every Disney song by heart, now would it?

I try to sit up, only for Roman to pull me back. "No, you're not going anywhere."

"..What, why?" I question, my voice a little raspy from having just woke up.

"You're not leaving until you believe me when I say you're not a disorder, Virgil. I don't care how long it takes. I got you into this mess, and now I'm getting you out." He explains, forcing me up so that we're shoulder to shoulder.

Even with the wounds on his arms, I'm still to weak to fight him off. How pathetic of me. "No, please just let me go." I try, but to no avail. He holds his grip, keeping me in place with his arm wrapped around mine. He can't really be doing this, right? This has to be a joke. "..Roman, please."

"I'm sorry, Virgil, but no can do. You're staying here until you understand that..that..," He pauses.

"That what, I'm annoying? Yeah, I get it. Can I go now?" I say before he can finish, trying to pull away, but he only tightens his grip.

"That I love you, and so do the others. Thomas, Logan, and Patton..we all love you," His words seem to echo,

I pause, and so does my breath. How could he..how could he say that? Throwing that word around?

"That's not..that's not something you l-lie about, Roman,"

"No, you're right. It's not, and that's why I'm not lying. I never have and never will lie to you, do you understand?" He speaks, his tone serious. It looks as if he's staring into my soul.

My breathing hitches and I stare at the floor. I'm falling. I'm falling into the trap again aren't I? Why do I..why do I believe him? I shouldn't believe him. I can't..I can't-

"Virgil, breathe. Can you do that for me? You can't afford another panic attack, alright? You've had far to many just this past day."

What am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing? He's lying, it's a lie, it's all a lie. Stop believing him, stop believing him!

Tears start to fall from my eyes again, and my body begins to slightly shake.

"Hey, it's alright." ... "Virge?" .. "Everything's going to be okay." He speaks softly, taking his arms and wrapping them around me, pulling me closer to him. "I love you soooo much," His grip on me tightens, "you're doing just fine."

..

Not a lie, not a lie.

............

Not a lie,

..

"I lo-ve you too," I barely whisper, leaning in to the hug. It gives a soft and safe sensation.

"I'm glad," He tightens his grip, leaning back in the corner of the couch, pulling me with him. "Get some more rest, tomorrow's adventures await you." He speaks, summoning a blanket and covering us with it as I lay against him.

I wipe away the tears and close my eyes while he continues with the movie. Though, it would take a miracle to get me to fall asleep again, so I simply lay still, hearing the comforting songs playing in the background and Roman's steady breathing.

Everything's going to be just fine.

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End.