Over And Over, Again And Again. (Sanders Sides Fic)

Black.

There’s a lot of pov changes in this chapter, sorry about that.

Warnings: Injuries, pushing/fighting, shouting, panic attack. Please inform me if there are any more.

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The movie ended and Patton and I were just sitting in a fairly comfortable silence until we heard shouting come from the bedroom.

I check the clock..there’s only about an hour left to go until midnight. Until tomorrow. I hope we didn’t do all this for nothing. Please don’t let all of this be for nothing. Please.

The bedroom door handle begins to jiggle and more shouting could be heard..then the lock pops off.

“Virgil,” Patton turns to me. “Lets go in the washroom and lock the door, alright?” He hurries up, grabbing my sweater sleeve and pulling me along with him.

I hear the bedroom door fly open and the shouting becomes more clear as the others exit the room.

“Thomas grab his other arm!”

“I’m trying, he keep getting out!”

We rush into the washroom and Patton immediately shuts and locks the door. It’s a lock from the inside, so they’d have to pick it if they want to get in. Or just break down the door.

I hear several footsteps run down the stairs, then to the living room.

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The two try to stop the other, but he just keeps going. They keep loosing their grip on him. Finally, the logical side snaps.

In a desperate act, he jumps at the fanciful side, sending them both to the floor with a loud bang. A dull pain rushes through the prince, pulling him back to reality only by the slightest. Still, he has no control and barely any awareness of what he’s doing.

Thomas gets down on the floor to help the other keep him down, but to no avail as the prince roughly pushes him off, injuring his host as he knocks into the wall. He shoves the logical side away with much force, sending him to the floor. The two wince at their injuries.

He becomes more conscious as he processes the incident.

They’re hurt..he hurt them.

The prince gets back up again, leaving the two on the floor momentarily before they also get back up. He makes his way into the hall and Thomas lunges at him, but only to be thrown against the wall again, hitting his head in a harsh manner.

The host lets out a cry of pain, feeling a sense of dizziness wash over him.

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Thomas? Thomas..oh god, no. I hurt him, I..I hurt them…

I walk to the washroom door, seeming completely unfazed by the situation from the outside, but, oh god..I hurt them..

I’m the prince, I’m supposed to protect people from harm, but right now..right now I’m the villain.

Alright, Roman. Stop and breathe, take control, rid of the bad guy.

I start to bang on the door. No, no. I mustn’t do that, Virgil is going to freak out! He’s basically terrified of loud noises! Stop!

The banging comes to a halt as I fight to take control.

I can do this. I have to do this. For Virgil.

I feel the others take hold of my arms and pull me back. I still cannot move, but at least I’ve stopped.

More control, I need more control.

I manage not to fight back as they pull me into the kitchen, away from the washroom door.

Wont will this final hour just end already? Even though it has only begun.

“..’m sorry,” I barely whisper, trying to gain the last bits of my control back, fighting off the feeling of anger and pushing it away with the other feelings that take over..my real feelings.

Farewell anger,

…ouch, now that I can officially feel and move my body again, those wounds from before are really starting to burn.

A sense of dizziness washes over me. I could see the others, holding me back, but then trying to keep me up as I begin to fall.

“Roman?”

“Roman, stay with us,”

Everything’s going black.

“Ro-…stay..wake”

“No, Tho-…..gone.”

“Let ..-m…sleep”

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There’s heavy and loud banging on the other side of the door, making the whole door shake.

Loud.. too loud, too loud, too loud.

I back up until my legs hit the bathtub.

“It’s alright, Virgil. It’ll be over soon, I promise. Just stay calm.” Patton speaks, also moving away from the door.

The banging comes to an abrupt stop. I sink down to the floor, leaning up against the tub.

Patton kneels down in front of me, saying words that I don’t understand. I can’t focus. I can’t hear him. What’s he saying?

I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. All I hear is a menacing high pitched ringing and muffled voices. From Patton and the others outside. Sounds as if I’m wearing ear muffs, but they’re too tight.

My heart beats fast. I could hear it, feel it. It beats hard like a drum..pounding against my chest.

I shut my eyes tight, the light giving me a dull headache.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

I’m fine.

Right?

Even if this doesn’t work this time, maybe it will the next time, right?..right?

If it doesn’t work this time, why would it work the next time? What if the argument never happens but I still repeat this day again? What if I’m stuck like this forever?

Stuck forever. Forever. No end, no end. Forever.

“-alm …-own,”

“Vir-…-s…-right.”

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. Why can’t I breathe!

I try to take a breath but nothing happens. When I do manage one, it’s only small and jagged and it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It burns.

Make it stop!

Make it stop, make it stop.

I open my eyes, but everything’s fuzzy. The ringing in my ears only manages to grow louder and louder. I’m loosing my senses. I’m loosing my mind.

Everything’s fading out. Everything’s…gone.

Everything’s black.

..

‘ts happening?

..

Tired..

…

..

Gone.

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