30 Day Letter Challenge

11. A deceased person you wish you could talk to.

UPDATED: 9.12.2012

UPDATED AGAIN: 26.01.2013

Hi Uncle John.

This letter is going to be pretty damn hard to write and I am probably going to cry my eyes out.

I miss you. I miss the way me, you and Gran would go on trips together without my parents knowing. Remember when we went to Birmingham to watch the play of Cinderella and my parents didn't know we had gone? You were my best friend, the only person that I could talk to, the only person I felt safe speaking my mind too. You wrote too. I found my dream because of you, and I found the thing that I want to be forever. I don't think I will ever be able to repay you for that. You will always be my inspiration for writing and the ideas that come into my head will always be for you. I will make it. Because I do want you to be proud of me. That's my main goal in life. I love you. I always will. I hate you. You left me here, alone, when I needed you. I was ten years old and my best friend had died suddenly and left me all alone and I had no one. I needed you and you left me. You were meant to be okay. You kept telling me you were okay, that you would be fine, but you lied to me. I understand now. I know why you lied. You didn't want me to be hurting. The day you died... Dad, Gran and Mum got me and the others into the back room (the playroom) and Dad looked at us and I already knew, but his face answered it. I said, "John's dead." And he said "Yes." I don't think it clicked. I didn't cry straight away, it didn't hurt straight away. It took it's time to creep into my heart and stop it from feeling anything. And then it broke into a million pieces. You weren't supposed to die John. You weren't supposed to leave me in the world alone when I needed you. You were supposed to always be there, helping me, on my side and guiding me on my way. I know you were sick, but I don't know why you had to die. I don't think I ever will.

- Bethy-boo.