Hi Mum, Dad.
Mum. I'm not ignorant to the comparisons, to favouritism, to being isolated. I'm not ignorant to the conversations behind closed doors, to the looks shared that you think are a secret but they really aren't. I notice it all. I pay attention and then I pretend I haven't seen it because why be hurt yet again? Why let the fact that my parents would rather see the back of me, than accept me hurt me? Why would I do that? Explain it to me Dad. Hey old man. How you doing? Me and you are really alike. Our personalities are almost identical. If the saying opposites attract is true that would mean likeness repels right? Well we do repel each other sometimes. You put me down, you can't actually accept me, you put down my dreams and ambitions.
I'm temperamental, picky, hard to handle, annoying and I am flighty. I can't change any of that. You told me that and it's good you did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have recognised it. You get angry when I put my friends before myself and then call me a selfish person? How on Earth does that work out? I really don't understand that Dad. Mum says I'm selfish too but really? I don't tell you guys anything so you won't worry about me, or about my friends, or about Jack, Lauren and Luke... I don't tell you things to keep you safe. How can I be a selfish person? In all honesty? I try so hard to make things easier for all of you and it just ends up breaking me a little bit more. I honestly believe that you guys don't like me. There isn't so much to like about a girl who just spends most of her time alone in her room pushing you all away. I can forgive you guys for blaming me for everything whether it was my fault or not and I can fogive you guys for the times you have put me down or screamed at me, or said one thing and changed it to suit your needs days later or for just being horrible to me. I can forgive them because I understand those kinds of things. You want me to do my best and be the best I can be but I can't do that if I have you constantly putting me down about school, or growing up or who I hang out with. I need to make my own decisions and I reckon you both know I am headstrong enough to know right from wrong.
I love the both of you but I will never trust you.
Me.
YOU ARE READING
30 Day Letter Challenge
AcakIt took me two months to write thirty letters but that isn't the point. These letters are for the people that mean a lot, or not a lot to me. Hope you enjoy reading them.
