Brew Books

Chapter 22

The kitchen's a mess when Ed and Will walk in.

'Ooh, what you making?' Will asks, while Ed lands on the sofa. Will looks over my shoulder, where I'm beating raspberries into butter and sugar to create a soft, pink batter.

'Pink velvet cake, for the shop,' I say.

'Always pink,' Ed comments from the sofa.

'I made brownies the other day,' I say. 'They weren't pink. Is it cold outside?'

'Not really,' Will says. 'It's getting warmer.' He pushes Ed over so he can sit down on the sofa, and grabs his book from the coffee table.

'Any plans for dinner, Jane?' Ed asks me.

'No, you?' I say.

'Pub,' he says. 'Wanna join?'

I stop my mixing and look up at Ed, considering his offer. I so desperately want to go and join the group at the pub and pretend as if nothing's wrong. But last night Charlotte told me that something happened between her and Harper, and now more than ever I feel like I don't belong here.

I'm so embarrassed that I thought Harper might have liked me. For some reason I thought that my fresh start in London would be instantly successful. I was cooler than Kitty in school, so I thought if I wedged myself in with her friends I'd instantly be the coolest one, then I'd win over the hottest guy and start living the life I was supposed to live. But I'm starting to realise that not only is London a bigger pond, it's a whole different game.

'I have a Facetime call with my school friends,' I say. It's a lie, because I haven't spoken to my school friends in ages. But I still want Ed and Will to think I'm cool. Then, maybe, I can grasp onto this group.

Sylvie wanders downstairs, pushes past me to get to the sink, and fills up her watering can. She flits around the room, watering her plants, while I continue mixing my batter.

'Pub, Sylv?' Ed asks.

'Got a date,' Sylvie says. Her hair is up in a coloured scarf, but she's wearing her silk robe, having just got out of the shower.

'Alright, spill,' Will says. 'So George is done and dusted?'

'George is long gone,' Sylvie says. 'And if you mention his name in my presence again I'll ram this watering can down your throat.'

Ed chuckles.

'So who's the date?' Will asks.

'Some guy off Bumble,' Sylvie says. 'First date. Could be shit. But Charlotte and I have made a pact, so we've both got dates tonight.'

She finishes watering, puts the can up on top of the cupboard, and goes back upstairs to get ready.

'Oh,' I say, pretending to look at my phone. 'My friend just texted me and said she's busy, so our Facetime date is cancelled. I'm up for the pub.'

'Sweet,' Ed says. Will just raises his eyebrows.

I finish mixing the batter and pour it into the muffin trays. While they're baking I go and get changed out of my sloppy t-shirt and sweatpants (I've been in them all day, stewing), and into a skirt and top.

Kitty's sitting in Will's lap when I come back into the living room, her bare feet up on Ed's knees. She's wearing a floaty crushed dress with a paisley pattern over it, and it's grazing the floor. Ed's got his silver laptop sitting on the armrest of the sofa. He's got an excel doc open - probably putting together orders for the café and bar.

'Jane!' Kitty cries. 'You coming to the pub?'

'Sure,' I say. 'When these cupcakes are done.'

With the three of them taking up the saggy leather sofa, I perch myself on the little pouffe, pushing a leaf of Sylvie's cheese plant out of my face.

The four of us sit in a comfortable silence for a while. Will is reading, and Kitty is staring up at the ceiling. Ed's focused on his laptop, and I'm scrolling through Instagram on my phone, but I realise the vibe with these three doesn't feel awkward. Charlotte's cutting words to me last night won't change anything about my relationship with Kitty, Will and Ed.

When the cakes are baked and set out to cool, the four of us head down to the local. No one mentions whether Harper is coming, and I decide not to ask after him, because I don't want to seem like I care.

The fire is crackling away in the fireplace of the pub, and we pull off our coats and scarves and take a seat at a high wooden table. Will and Ed are both for burgers, I get fish and chips, and Kitty deliberates between the two sad vegetarian options before settling on the roasted cauliflower salad. Our food takes ages and we order a second drink before it arrives. Will tells me to try the pale ale he's drinking, but I don't like it and ask for a strawberry cider instead.

'Where's Harper tonight?' Ed asks, when Will's monologue about his latest Netflix obsession comes to a close. I perk up, because the question was bubbling at the forefront of my mind, itching to be asked.

'I think his football team has started up again,' Kitty says.

I imagine Harper running around a field lit up by floodlights, wearing shorts and his school jersey, his hair pulled back into a knot, but strands flying into his face as he runs. The image makes me smile.

'Are things awkward at all in your flat?' Will asks Kitty.

Kitty shrugs. 'I haven't noticed,' she says. 'I haven't seen both of them in the same room.'

She looks at me, as if she's realising for the first time I'm here, and then glances at Ed. 'Did you tell her?'

'No, did you?'

The three of them look at me. 'Harper and Charlotte hooked up,' Will bursts, as if he couldn't contain it any longer.

I take a sip of my cider.

'On Saturday night,' Kitty elaborates. 'We were all really drunk, and then suddenly they were just making out.'

'I know,' I say.

'You know?' Kitty says. 'Did Harper tell you?'

'No,' I say. 'Charlotte did. She made a big point of it, too. Like she was rubbing it in my face. As if I care.'

'She did?' Kitty says. She looks over to Ed and Will.

'The thing about Charlotte,' Will says delicately, and he looks to Ed before continuing. 'She kind of has an issue with other girls.'

'But what have I done wrong?' I say, sounding more emotional than I mean to. 'She hates me!'

'She doesn't hate you,' Will says. 'She often takes a while to warm up to other girls.'

'I just don't get why you're friends with her,' and I say this directed at Kitty. 'She's completely fake.'

'Okay, one burger medium rare, with sweet potato fries.'

I hadn't noticed the waiter approach our table with our meals, and suddenly he's standing at my shoulder, passing over the food.

We get our food, and then Ed runs up to the bar to grab tomato ketchup, and then I can't bring myself to restart the conversation about Charlotte again. I feel embarrassed by what I've said already - admitting my weakness in front of Ed and Will. I don't want the boys to know I feel inferior to Charlotte, but her cutting words about hooking up with Harper have damaged me more than I want to admit.

• Author's Note •

Thanks for reading!

Have you ever been to an English pub? Or a British pub? What did you order? Did you like it?

p.s. don't forget to vote!

elle xx