Deciding what to wear to the gig on Friday night is agonising. I eventually settle on black jeans and a silky white top, with my denim jacket. I curl the ends of my hair and apply a red lip, and then head down to the bar just before it opens. Charlotte and Sylvie are both behind the bar, getting ready to open. I sit down on a barstool, and Sylvie shoots me a warm smile.
'You're dressed up,' Charlotte says, eying my outfit. 'Plans for tonight?'
I realise Harper hasn't told Charlotte that we're going to a gig tonight. I remember how Charlotte cornered me and dropped the fact that she and Harper had kissed, and I momentarily have a cruel impulse to brag in Charlotte's face that I'm going out, alone, with Harper. But I opt for an elusive shrug.
'Drink, babe?' Sylvie asks.
'Yeah, I'll have a gin and tonic, if you don't mind.'
I watch Sylvie as she concocts me a drink - which is definitely not the simple gin and tonic I asked for. Instead, she mixes gin with a dash of whiskey and apricot liqueur, then adds tonic. When I try it, it's both smokey and sweet, and does way more than a regular gin and tonic could do.
'I really want to learn how to make drinks like you two,' I tell them.
Without hesitation, Sylvie lifts the door of the bar, and steps back, motioning for me to join them. I glance over at Charlotte, then slip off my barstool and behind the bar.
'Oh, babes, show her that drink you made with the bitters,' Charlotte says. I've somehow got a sliver of her approval.
This is how Harper finds me - behind the bar with Charlotte and Sylvie, mixing drinks and laughing. Harper must be standing there for a while before we notice him, because the three of us are engrossed in the experimental drinks we're concocting.
'Harper!' Charlotte calls out. When she says his name she drops the H with her accent. 'Come and try the vermouth.'
I turn the tables and make Harper a drink - Sylvie has taught me how to make a Negroni, so I mix the vermouth with Campari, gin and a slice of orange. Harper clinks his glass against mine first.
'You ready to go?' Harper asks.
'After this drink I am,' I say.
'Where are you going?' Charlotte asks.
'That gig I told you about,' Harper says.
Harper and I open the doors to the bar, letting in the first few stragglers, and then I follow him up the wrought iron stairs and onto the street, where I'm surprised to find the sun is still up. I like how the days are getting longer - even though it's freezing, I can almost imagine that summer is on its way.
We take the tube to Oxford Circus and change lines to get off at Camden. It's not strange being out, alone, with Harper. I've thought about the idea of us being together so often, that now that it's actually happening it feels natural.
'So when do I find out who this band is?' I ask.
'When they start playing, maybe,' Harper says, leading me along until we get to the Roundhouse. I've never seen a show here, but it's a pretty famous venue. I glance around, trying to see posters for the act we're seeing tonight, but don't spot anything as we line up to scan our tickets.
As we get inside, I see a poster with a line up, but Harper spots it before me, because before I can look at it he grabs my hand, spins me, and puts one hand over my eyes. 'No cheating.'
'This is unfair,' I say, my voice muffled against his arm.
He pulls his hands away from my face, and holds onto my upper arms, instead. He bends down, slightly, so he's eye level with me. 'Do you trust me?'
I narrow my eyes. 'No,' I say, with a smirk.
Harper rolls his eyes. 'Fine,' he says, and he spins me again, and swiftly moves so that we're now side-by-side, with one of his arms over my shoulder. 'Well, let's get a drink, shall we?'
We line up at the bar and get overpriced vodka and soda in plastic cups. There's still a while until the support act starts, so Harper and I find a spot in the crowd while people continue piling in around us. It's hot and crowded in here, and I finish my drink quicker than I intended.
'Want another one?' Harper asks.
'Yeah, I'll get it,' I say, because Harper bought the last round. I squeeze through the crowd to make it to the bar, and when I have another two drinks I make my way back to Harper.
Walking through the crowd, trying to see over people's heads, I'm worried that I've lost him. I remember where we were, but now there are more people and the area where we were standing is full.
Something about being alone in a crowd has always made me panic. I feel a jolt in my stomach at the thought of losing Harper, and my face flushes with a sudden burst of adrenaline. I haven't had an anxiety attack for ages, but I can feel the beginnings of one now.
I squeeze through people, trying not to spill drinks down people's backs as I push past them, hunting for Harper, and feeling the panic oncoming. I'm suddenly desperate to find him. If I find him, everything will be okay.
A hand grabs my elbow, and I spin around to see Harper behind me. 'I was beginning to worry you were lost,' he says.
'I was beginning to worry I was lost,' I say, handing him the drink. I take a deep breath, and hand him his drink. 'Actually, can you hold this for a second?' I hand him my drink too, and now that I have a free hand I reach into my bag and pull out my phone. All I want to do is clutch onto it, and look at it. Holding my phone helps me ground myself.
I pretend to just check the time, and then I look back at Harper and force a grin onto my face.
'You alright?' he asks me.
I take my drink off him and take a swig. 'Yeah,' I say brightly. 'Just wondering when they're gonna start.'
He gives me one of those grins of his, and I try to grin back.
The support act is a small London indie band that plays a short set, during which Harper and I finish our second drink, and Harper offers to go get another one.
'Actually, I really don't want one,' I tell him, because I really don't want to be separated from him a gain. And then the main act starts.
I don't even know who they are, but Harper explains that they've been around for years, but they're mostly big in their home country, Australia. They're called Two Soap Dolls and the lead singer doesn't look like the typical long-haired guitarist. Instead, he's short and looks maybe Chinese, and he's wearing a button up shirt. But wow. He can sing.
I don't know the songs, but Harper does, and he holds my hand and teaches me some of the words, and we dance together. It's fun. It's easy. Even though I don't even know this band, I find it easy to dance with Harper. And I might be drunk. But I'm having so much fun, surrounded by all of these beautiful people, joined together by music.
When the band plays their encore, Harper wraps me in his arms. And it feels good. So I kiss him.
• Author's Note •
Thanks so much for reading! And today I have even more questions for you, because I love getting to know my readers and chatting to you in the comments!
1. What city are you from? (Or country, if you don't feel comfortable saying your city!)
2. Where is the best city/country/place you've ever visited?
3. What's your favourite book in the whole world? (I can't wait to hear all your recommendations!)
Thanks for reading!
elle xx
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Brew Books
ChickLitFree to read! 19-year-old Jane, newly-single, moves to London to work for her friend, Kitty. But Kitty is hiding something about the café - and about Jane and Kitty's past. ***** ...