Brew Books

Chapter 54

'You're not really leaving, right?' Ed asks me, as we're walking home, significantly fuller and cheerier after a roast and a few bottles of wine between us. 'Because you've just learnt how to make decent coffee, and I'd be lost without your baking.'

'I don't have anywhere else to go,' I tell Ed, because the truth is, I wasn't thinking, this morning. There's nothing for me in Brighton except my dad, and I don't want to live with him.

'You don't have to sleep in Matt's room, anymore,' Ed says. 'Charlotte says she'll swap with you.'

Ed and I have dropped back, so that we're walking twenty paces behind the rest of them. I watch the group up ahead. Kitty has her arm around Will, and they're walking like a couple. Charlotte and Sylvie are walking ahead, and Harper's behind them, with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

'Can you tell me about Matt?' I ask him.

'What do you want to know?' Ed asks.

'What was he like?' I ask.

'Nothing like me,' Ed admits. 'He partied a lot. He was wild. He worked out a lot, and he went out probably three nights a week, and did a lot of drugs. He wasn't really happy, you know. We moved to London together. I knew he thought that a fresh start in a big city would change everything. He thought he'd be happy.'

'But he wasn't happy,' I say. 'I know what you mean, about thinking that one big move or change will suddenly fix everything. I thought moving to London would suddenly change everything, but I'm still the same Jane.'

'Except now you can make good coffee,' Ed says. 'Don't underestimate that.'

'I'll be sure to add that to my resumé.'

'Uh uh, no resumé. You're not going anywhere.'

I laugh at Ed's tone, then feel a twist in my tummy as I remember again all the events of last night.

'Charlotte was telling me about her ex-boyfriend,' I say slowly.

'Mmm,' Ed says. 'The infamous Luca.'

'And Sylvie's ex, George, too,' I say.

'Well, I won't say anything too bad about George, because I'm still supposed to be mates with him, but he did screw Sylvie around a fair bit,' Ed says.

'Charlotte made the point that the group functions better if people aren't... hooking up,' I say carefully.

'Yeah, well, it'd help if Harper would stop making out with every girl in the house,' Ed says. He looks at me sheepishly. 'I guess I can't really talk, though.'

I feel my cheeks go red.

'I think Charlotte probably has a point,' Ed says firmly. 'Although I also think that our group is always going to be pretty fucked up regardless.'

'Well, yeah,' I say slowly. I look again at the back of the heads of my friends ahead of us. I wonder where this conversation is taking us. Ed doesn't seem eager to steer it in any direction.

'I really shouldn't have gotten as drunk as I was last night,' I say. 'I don't know how it happened.'

'Probably something to do with all the drinks you drank,' Ed teases.

'Yes, that's probably it,' I admit. 'Also, I didn't eat.'

'That's always a mistake,' Ed says. 'Do you remember everything?'

'Do we need anything from Tesco?' Kitty calls back to us, since we're walking past it.

'Do we have milk?' Harper asks.