Brew Books

Chapter 35

Drew and I wander upstairs, and we're both naturally drawn to the fantasy fiction section. One thing I haven't really revealed to anyone else at the bookstore, is that my true love is fantasy, which was how Drew and I got to know each other in the first place.

Drew and I bonded over our shared love of epic fantasy. I think I surprised him. I was in the cool group at school, with Rachel, Abby and Nadia. We were the girls with the best clothes, the best hair, the best boyfriends. We went to all the parties, and everyone wanted to be friends with us. But while the other girls were obsessed with whichever jock they could get their hands on, I was different. Even in high school, I didn't just want the hottest boy. I wanted the boy with the future.

And Drew was my future.

He was the smartest guy I knew. He still is. And yes, he was friendly, and gorgeous, but he wasn't one of the popular guys, until I turned him into one. But I knew there was more to Drew than just popularity. Drew was the guy that was going to succeed in life, and I wanted to be beside him the whole time.

And then I wasn't.

I watch Drew as he browses. He's always been good-looking, but perhaps not in that Hollywood way. And that's a fault of Hollywood, not Drew. His black hair is forever spiky in every direction, and his face is long, and broad. His nose, longer and broader still, and holding up his glasses. His skin is naturally more pigmented than mine, from his Chinese side of the family. And it's smooth and velvety, and suddenly I remember the way his hands felt on me. Sure, steady hands, with long fingers that looked so at home on a keyboard, and wrapped around my hand perfectly.

He picks a novel out from the shelf - a new novel from an author that we've both read. Drew reads me the blurb, and I lean on the shelf, tilting my head to watch him read. His voice creates a fantasy world for me.

And so we spend an hour like this, browsing, and reading passages to each other, and finding new editions of our favourite books. Foyles has a particularly pretty new edition of Harry Potter that we haven't got in stock at our bookstore, so I decide to purchase it for myself. My old copies of Harry Potter are sitting in my old bedroom at my dad's house in Brighton. But suddenly, with Drew here, I'm enchanted by the idea of rereading the series.

'Harry Potter?' Drew asks me, when he sees what I'm holding.

'Of course,' I say. 'My first true love.'

'I thought I was your first true love?' Drew teases.

I laugh. 'Sorry, but you will always hold second place in my heart after Harry.'

'Well let me get it for you,' Drew says.

'No, it's okay,' I say. 'I'm the one working; you're a poor uni student.'

Drew shakes his head. 'Come on, I insist. I want to buy you Harry Potter. A gift of your first true love from your second true love.'

He grabs the book from me and we go downstairs to the registers. After he buys the book (and a new book bag for me, because he tells me I need one), Drew says that he's hungry.

'Well, we're in Soho,' I say. 'This is where all the best food is.'

'Okay, you pick,' Drew says.

I take him to a Japanese restaurant that I've been to before. It's no frills but completely delicious - we have Asahi and bento boxes, and a second Asahi after the first. We fall into conversation over lunch about what we've been reading, and how his university life is, and how my London life is.

I realise it's so easy talking to Drew. I spent years with him, and I understand every tone in his voice; every inflection; every emotion. I used to spend all my time with Drew - when I wasn't with Rachel, Nadia, and Abby. He knows me better than anyone, except maybe Kitty. He knows my heart.

Halfway through lunch, I check my phone and see a notification that I've been added to a new group chat. Then I see the text messages from Kitty, asking me where I am, and where I will meet them. I put my phone away.

Drew and I walk to Soho Square. It's still cold but it's sunny, and we find a bench to sit on, feeling warm and happy from our beers.

'This is nice, Drew,' I tell him. 'It's nice spending time with you. I missed this. I missed you.'

'I missed you too, Janey,' Drew says. 'But everything's changed now.'

'I don't know if I ever told you this before, Drew. But I am really sorry about everything that happened. It was all completely my fault, and I am so sorry that I completely ruined our relationship. I regret it so much.'

'I told you, I forgive you,' Drew says. 'I want to be friends with you.'

'You think we can be friends?' I ask.

'Yeah,' Drew says. 'I want you in my life again, Janey. I know we can never go back to how we were before, but I think we can be friends. I want that.'

'Never?' I ask.

Drew looks at me. 'Do you still want that?'

'I don't know what I want,' I admit.

'Jane,' he says. 'I know you were in a horrible, horrible place after your mum died. Which is why I wanted to make sure you know I forgive you, and I'm here for you if you need. But it's too late for us. We had our chance.'

'And I blew it,' I say.

'But I forgive you,' he reiterates.

I stare up at the blue sky, wishing I could reverse the clock all those months, and take back everything that happened.

'I also thought you should know... Rachel and I have been seeing a lot of each other, because we both live in Bristol,' he says.

I freeze, staring at him. 'Rachel?'

'Yeah, well,' Drew says. 'She goes to UWE, and I go to Bristol. We always tend to see each other on nights out.'

'And?'

'Don't get too freaked out,' Drew says. 'It's not really serious or anything. But I just thought you should know that we've been seeing each other.'

I swallow. 'Seeing each other as in...'

'Seeing each other,' Drew repeats. I hate his terminology.

'You've been screwing my best friend?' I say sharply.

Drew frowns. 'Your best friend? You never speak to her anymore!'

'Only because those girls have completely stopped talking to me!'

'Well that's not Rachel's fault,' Drew says. 'They don't know you anymore. You've changed, Jane.'

'No, you have,' I say. 'The Drew I know would never sleep with his ex-girlfriend's best friend.'

'Well I thought the Jane I knew would never cheat on me, but look what happened,' Drew snaps.

I stand up. 'I don't know why I'm even here,' I say.

'I don't know why you're here either,' he retorts, but I storm off, towards Oxford Street.

• Author's Note •

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote before you go onto the next chapter. And you know I have a question for you...

What's a novel that's made you cry?

Jump into the comments to see everyone else's responses!

elle xx