Brew Books

Chapter 47

I'm drunk, so I don't really remember how it starts, just that I'm halfway through this kiss with Ed, and now I've got my arms around his neck, because he's supporting most of my weight. That little bit of stubble above his lip rubs against my lip. I almost fall, and he has to grip onto my waist, and then he pulls back.

'Okay, we should probably stop that,' Ed says into my ear. 'You're way too drunk for this.'

'I'm fine,' I say, but I pull back from him, and look around. For some reason, while I was kissing him, I thought we were alone, but I realise with a shock that the others are right beside us. Which means that they've seen everything.

Will and Sylvie are both wearing amused expressions. Kitty's not even watching, she's still dancing, and I realise she's just as drunk as I am, and maybe she hasn't noticed. Which is good. I don't need Kitty to know about this.

And then there's Harper, who doesn't seem to have noticed either. Except that now he's got his arm around Kitty's waist, pulling her in to dance with him.

And as I watch, Harper pulls Kitty towards him, brushes a stray piece of hair out of her face, and leans in. To kiss her. And I watch, drunkenly, as Kitty kisses Harper right back.

I suck in a breath of air, and stumble back, falling into Ed. Ed grabs me, and says, 'Come on, let's get out of here.'

Sylvie, and Will follow us, and in a messy blur we're out of the club and on the street, waiting for an Uber.

'Jane,' Sylvie is saying, and she's got her arm around me. Suddenly I'm sitting down, but I don't know where, and then I realise that I'm sitting in the gutter of the street. The sun is coming up, but the air is icy cold, and all I've got on is a light jacket. I stare at the shards of a broken beer bottle on the road, reflecting the orange light of morning.

'What did I do?' I mumble at Sylvie. I look up, to see Ed and Will on the other side of the road.

'I kissed Ed,' I groan. 'Why did I kiss Ed?'

'Jane, don't worry about that,' Sylvie says. 'Ed's a good guy. He's not gonna think anything or care or whatever.'

I hiccup, and wipe stray tears from my eyes. 'I didn't mean to kiss Ed. I don't know what happened. I was just really drunk, and I don't know why it happened. I was meant to kiss Harper.'

Ed calls out that our Uber has arrived, so the four of us pile into the sedan. For some reason I'm in the middle, between Will and Ed, and Ed wraps his arm around me and pulls me towards him. 'You okay, Jane?' he asks.

I pull out of his grip. 'I'm sorry,' I say.

'She's just really drunk,' Sylvie says from the front seat. 'Just leave her.'

Ed pulls his arm away from me. The alcohol sloshes through my body, and I feel dizzy. I put my face in my hands to hide my tears.

Driving Brixton to Shepherds Bush is travelling across the whole of London, and it takes way longer when I'm drunk. I think we should almost be there when I look up and see we're just crossing the Thames. Albert Bridge is lit up in golden lights that shimmer in my vision. I lean my head back and sigh. Usually, when I see Albert Bridge lit up, I have that rushing epiphany that I live here, in this beautiful city, London. But tonight, the lights seem to tell me that I don't belong.

As we get to the green in Shepherds Bush I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I will myself to hold it in, because I'm stuck between the boys. We make it to Uxbridge Road, and the boys get out of the car first. I jump out and head straight for the gutter, where I empty my guts onto the street. The only thing that comes out is pure liquid, and I remember that I didn't eat anything tonight.

'Come on, hun,' Sylvie says, and she takes me inside. I don't know where the boys have gone.

For some reason, Sylvie takes me to the living room of the other flat, rather than our own. Charlotte is sitting in the living room, with water and toast. I wonder if that means that Kitty and Harper have come home too, but I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about Kitty and Harper, together.

'Debrief, babes, please,' Charlotte says.

Sylvie checks over her shoulder to make sure the boys have gone into our flat, and then turns to Charlotte.

'Jane's only gone and kissed Ed, and Kitty's hooked up with Harper,' Sylvie says, and she sounds exasperated.

I take a piece of toast when Charlotte offers it to me, then drop it on the floor.

'See, this is why we don't hook up with each other,' Charlotte says, gesturing towards me. 'We'll all turn into that. Because she couldn't get Harper and now she's gone and dragged Ed into it.'

'I could get Harper,' I snap at Charlotte. 'You're not the only one who's gotten with Harper. Clearly, he gets with everyone.'

'Yes, but you haven't been with Harper,' Charlotte says.

'Yes I have,' I say.

Charlotte frowns. 'Harper made a move on you?'

'I slept with him,' I say, and I take pleasure in seeing Charlotte's face drop, even though my wording is a technicality. I didn't sleep with Harper, but I slept alongside him.

'Then why the fuck did you kiss Ed tonight?' Sylvie says.

My stomach plummets at the memory. 'I didn't mean to,' I say, and my words come out as a whine. 'I wanted to be with Harper, but he was ignoring me. He doesn't trust me.'

'Well, clearly he has a reason not to,' Sylvie says. 'You should go to bed, Jane.'

I stand up, almost knocking Sylvie's glass of water, and leave my toast on the coffee table. 'Fine,' I almost yell, and I storm back to my flat.

The doors to both Ed and Will's bedrooms are shut, so I head to my own bedroom, slam the door, and collapse into bed. And pass out straight away.

• Author's Note •

Drunk Jane what you doinnnng?! Girl!

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote before you go on!

elle xx