Heal // z.m

thirty five | family & late night thoughts

Zayn

The brightly shining sun woke me from my deep slumber, squinting my eyes in an instant. Yawns left my mouth and I pressed my palms to my eyes as I rubbed off the blurriness that hampered my clarity. Realising that I had forgotten to close the curtains last night, I stared at the blue sky, that was filled with with a blur of spread out clouds. Happiness flooded through my body when I heard the birds singing.

Closing my eyes again, I pretended it was spring instead of winter. The gloominess and cold didn't exactly help me- I couldn't wait to feel the natural warmth on your skin, the squinting of your eyes when the rays would be too bright.

Breathing in deeply, I suddenly felt how my chest and throat hurt, causing me to cough as a slight tickle appeared in the back of my throat. The cough sounded as if it was further away from me, confirming that I was half deaf, along with a stuffed nose. I caught a cold.

No matter how it disappointed me, I wasn't going to let it ruin my rather cheerful morning. However, I turned to my other side as the sun was starting to give me a headache. Or it was the cold- I didn't know, but either way, it made me sigh.

Reaching for my stuffed Simba, I smiled a little as I brought it closer to me. Rose had bought it for me, from now on, it would always be a reminder and memory to one of the nicest days I had ever had in my life. Spending the day at the zoo had been so much fun, because it had been with her.

Her comments, her stories, her theories about any animal that would be there in the zoo- I loved it all. Her forgetting my tube feeding had been my last concern, she made me forget about the negative, even the uncomfortable feeling of when I would get hungry, and only brought up the positivity.

I still didn't understand where I had gotten the courage from to hold her hand like that, and I still didn't quite understand why she hadn't pulled away from me, but didn't that tell me that she must've liked it? I didn't quite know. If only my backpack wouldn't have ruined the moment- although I was rather happy that she had acted as if nothing had happened. I never wanted it to be awkward afterwards.

We hadn't talked about it yet, but for some reasons, I wanted to keep it that way. We didn't have to talk about everything, for I thought it would only ruin some things.

Closing my eyes, a deep, sleepy sigh left my slightly parted lips as I felt myself drifting off to sleep, but got woken up instantly when the door swung open and my little sister ran over to me, screaming my name in pure excitement.

"Safaa!" Smiling widely, I pulled her onto my bed and embraced her into a tight hug, pressing kisses all over her face.

Looking up, I saw how my parents and two other sisters entered my room, closing the door behind them. "Mum!" Smiling warmly, I wrapped my arms around her neck as she pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"Good morning, sweetheart. Isn't that a surprise? We thought we would all come by for once. Did you just wake up? How are you feeling?" She mentioned, making some space for my dad and sisters to greet me as well.

Chuckling, I playfully rolled my eyes. "Too many questions, mum." Kissing my dad's and sisters' cheeks, I turned my attention back to her. "Yeah, I just woke up and of course it's a surprise, a really good one. I feel fine, just caught a cold but that's alright." I shrugged.

Mum sat down on my bed and pressed her hand to my face as she started to stroke my cheek for a brief moment. "I'm sorry, Zayn. Your body is very vulnerable right now, anything could get to you."

Rubbing my eyes, I covered my mouth as I coughed. "I guess, yeah. It is what it is, though. Nothing to do about it." I mumbled quietly, watching how Safaa retrieved Simba from my bed and started cuddling it close to her chest, showing him to Doniya and Waliyha after that.