Heal // z.m

75.

Rose

The atmosphere around the house was quite depressing. Caroline had apparently called Trisha, probably knowing that Zayn didn't tell her and told her everything about his results.

Trisha took us all to the couch, including his father and she explained us everything. I knew it already, but I still started crying again. It almost made me feel guilty, knowing his parents and sisters knew him for so much more years and I only knew him for a couple of months, but it still didn't take away that I was hurting too.

I had told them all about me and Zayn after that, they were all so happy for me but at the same time so sad. They told me they understood what I was feeling and that it wasn't weird that he meant so much to me too.

I felt relieved because of that but once again sad because of all the bad news we had been receiving.

However, Yaser really tried to enlighten the mood. The quiet, serious man of a few words was now cracking jokes so now and then, being extremely teasing towards his daughters and even me. I was surprised as I knew deep inside he was hurting as much as we were, but it made me happy that he was like that. It made the atmosphere less depressing.

Safaa was still deep in thoughts. The little girl was confused, "But mama, does that mean Zayn is going to die now?"

Trisha sat down on the couch beside us and looked at her, "Most likely, yeah." She tried to smile for Safaa, but it didn't grow into a proper one.

"But daddy, what is dying?" She now asked her father. Me, Doniya and Waliyha were just listening as we weren't really in the mood to do anything else.

Yaser cleared his throat, "It's like you fall asleep, but you never wake up again." He frowned a little as he looked at Trisha but she just gave him a nod with a small smile on her face.

"Oh.." She stayed quiet for a while and we could all see that she was thinking deeply, which surprisingly made all of us smile. "So does that mean he has to stay in bed forever?"

Trisha shook her head, "No, love. Zayn will fall asleep and he will be so tired that his heart will stop beating. And if your heart stops beating, it means that you will never wake up again."

"Then what happens to him, mummy? Will he go in the ground?" She asked with wide eyes, not really understanding the emotions from everyone yet.

Trisha sighed a little and wiped her eyes before she spoke up again. "Yes. We will bury him. We will make him wear his favorite outfit and as his soul is going up to heaven, we will bury his body."

"But in the ground are all dirty insects what if they eat him?" Safaa asked, her eyes widening even more.

Yaser briefly looked at us before looking down at his youngest daughter, "He'll be laying in a coffin, Safaa. No one can hurt or touch him."

"Oh," Her head went down again as she started processing everything they just said. "I want to wear my pink dress. I don't have to wear all blacky blacky, right?"

We all laughed a little. I was happy Safaa was around because although some of her questions were a bit blunt, she was too innocent and young to understand the concern and sadness of everything. She processed everything in her own child way and it was something that lit up the mood in here.

"You'll have to ask Zayn what he wants but I'm sure you don't have to be in black. He isn't like that." Trisha smiled slightly.

Safaa slowly nodded her head, "Mummy, you said he will go to heaven. Why is everyone sad then? You say being with God is the best that can happen. He will be in a good place."