Heal // z.m

Epilogue/ from Zayn to Rose

Dear Rose,

I'm sitting in my bed. Well, not my bed, but the hospital bed. My heart is beating and I'm breathing right now, something that isn't by the time you're reading this.

It's raining outside, something you loved, unless it messed up your hair. It reminds me of a few days ago, when we were at my house for the holidays. You went out with my sister, and came back soaked from the rain. I thought you looked beautiful. So beautiful, that I couldn't help myself and follow you up the stairs to kiss you.

I'm in my pajamas. Caroline helped me shower. It reminded me of how you helped me last time. It also reminded me of the very first time I saw you. When I asked if they taught you how to wash people in bed, just to see how you'd react. I know I already said this in real life, but it still makes me smile.

You were nervous, it was amusing. You told me you were never going to wash me.. guess you broke your promise, aha.

You see, Rose, everything reminds me of you. And they're always good things. You gave me so many great memories that I could've never imagined.

Rosie, you're so amusing, so intriguing. I noticed that on the first day I met you. I knew you were going to bring me a lot of beautiful things. And I was right.

You, my beautiful rose, you made me smile when no one else could. You made me smile when there was no reason to smile, when I was in unbearable pain, after the tumor, the surgery, or when I just didn't feel well. You made me do things no one else could make me, like wearing the hospital gown.

You turned negative things into positive things in this hospital, Rose. You made me forget about all the bad things. Nothing can ever show you enough for how thankful I am for that. How thankful I am for you.

I still wanted to give you something. Something that will remind you of me. Look through my wardrobe when you have to take everything out of the hospital room. I left one of my beanies, my red sweater and a present for you. It's something I had made throughout the months for reasons that are written in there. Your curiosity will be answered, baby. Haha.

Rose, I know that this time is going to be really difficult, but know that I'm there, like I told you. I'll be enjoying my pain free life, doing mischief with Nathan and Tyler up there. And I'll watch over you, to make sure you're okay, with every step you take from now on.

If you ever feel sad, or if you can't take it anymore when you're working, please use my escape. The room on the eighth floor. Open up the skylight, lie down on the bed and think about what happened up there. All the moments we had, the beautiful moments I will cherish forever.

Dawson, Nemo.. thank you for making the last months of my life the most amazing, wonderful and memorable months I have ever had in my whole entire life.

I love you. Forever.

Love and x,

Z