Heal // z.m

46 | painful questions & realisations

Rose

It had been two weeks since I had last seen Zayn, and the only reason why I was happy that it was finally Monday was that I could finally see him today. The past two weeks had been a great test to my feelings for him, if I had them. I had noticed that I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him, but that made me so extremely confused about my feelings. I couldn't fully understand why my feelings had grown towards him, but I couldn't deny them either.

No matter where I went, no matter what I did- he was always on my mind. From the moment I went to sleep to the moment I woke up again. He was there. Sleep wasn't something I had gotten much lately, and while being at University, my concentration was nowhere to be found.

My feelings weren't exactly strong, but they surely were there. His gentleness and modesty, the fact that he was so caring even when he was the one who was so sick and needed the care himself, the fact that he was so down to earth. I hadn't met many guys like him before, and that made me want to keep the bond we had so far.

Once I had put my coat and bag in the wardrobe, my eyes had fallen onto a note from Caroline, saying she was in Zayn's room and wanted to meet me there. I had smiled a little while reading it, being too excited to finally see him again.

Making my way over, my smile faded slowly when I saw how red his cheeks were. He looked half awake, yet half sleeping. Whimpers and groans left his mouth- they sounded as if he was in pain. Closing the door behind me, I quietly made my way over to Caroline, who was looking down at him in concern.

Worry appeared in my guts, he didn't seem well at all and the fact that he hadn't noticed that I had walked into his room said enough. "Hi. Is he alright?"

Caroline looked up, a tired smile making its way upon her face. "Good morning, Rose. He's not so well. His radiation spot turned into a blister and burn. I tried to take care of it, but it sadly got infected. Due to the infection he's got a fever now and is in a lot of pain."

How much pain did he still need to go through?

"I'm so sorry to hear that.. What can I do for him?" Stepping closer towards the bed, I saw how his upper body was bare, it transpiring heavily due to the heat the fever gave him.

"Do you mind taking care of his wound? You know how it works right? Then I can also sign it for your schoolwork." Caroline suggested, stretching her limbs as she stood up from his bed, having been seated beside him for a while.

Nodding, I observed the wound for a brief moment. "It's a red wound." I mumbled softly, swallowing a little when I saw how painful it looked. It made me doubt about the fact to take care of it- and not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to hurt him.

"Very good, Rose. Here's everything you need." Caroline mentioned, rolling the nightstand table over to me where she had everything I needed laid out already. Thanking her, I watched her as she left the room to take care of somebody else that needed her, sitting down onto the chair that stood beside his bed after.

Pressing my hand to his cheek, I felt how warm it was. "Are you awake, Zayn?" I whispered, noticing that he was drifting off to sleep. Sighing in relief as he didn't hear me, I figured it was the right time to take care of his wound as he wouldn't feel it while sleeping.

Once I had fully taken care of the wound, I threw the used material away and thoroughly washed my hands with soap, rubbing them together when I had quirted a bit of hand alcohol on them. Glancing at the bandage that was now onto his wound, I was sure I had done it the right way.

With my gaze on him, I could see how his hipbones were lightly sticking out. The stay in the hospital had made him lose quite a bit of weight, as well as the treatments and lack of sports he used to do. Shoving the covers over his lower body as his pants hung rather low because of the wound, I figured he would feel more comfortable when he would wake up.