Deceived: The 500th Annual Hunger Games

Chapter 73 - The Pre Victors

SEPTIMUS BAKER'S P.O.V

Life in District One sucks now.

Before, I was omnipotent, respected, the perfect role model.

Now?

Now I'm a sulk about. I speak to absolutely no one. Since Roxen's death in January, nothing has been the same. Any compassion, interest I had, well it had seemed to have vanished. All I do is lay on my bed, remembering how proud I was to represent the District as my name was pulled from the bowl.

How wrong I was.

Never did I expect this journey to be hell. Nightmares torment me as I sleep, flashbacks, hallucinations prevent me from living the life I did ten months ago.

Ten months. Ten months ago, I had my right eye. That's another thing that constantly reminds me that this isn't a dream. That day where the pterodactyl pecked my eye beyond repair was the day reality settled in. The day I knew I wasn't sleeping still.

It's weird to think that after ten months of your games, you're usually preparing for mentoring. Two kids, a boy and a girl, reaped or volunteered, enter that train with you at their sides. You treat them like royalty until they're sent to their platforms.

Yet, even though I'm horrified by losing Roxen, losing my eye, losing sanity, I can't help but crave entering again. Being able to kill, almost in an act of revenge, will satisfy me.

Let's say that I've accepted death, seeing as nothing is worthy to me anymore, but I want to go out with a bang.

See, we're just pre-victors. We get about a third of the money a normal victor gets. We don't live in the big fancy houses provided for victors, no. Most of our earnings have gone towards new furniture, with a bit going towards food. Not that I need more food, I'm from District One.

No one bothers to visit me anymore. All the friends I used to have are either dead or just don't care anymore. It's like I'm invisible to the world, which I don't mind.

Whenever I can, I go to the training centre. I decided that it would be wise to learn how to use other weapons. In fact, this has become my home. Mum doesn't really care about anything anymore, dad is always out, working, my sister is always at my cousin's house.

Before, when I stuck to using that plain old sword, I couldn't do as much. Occasionally, Chester used to meet me, but now he has bigger responsibilities. In the first few months we met, he taught me the basics of knife throwing.

Now, I can use a spear and trident too. My hand to hand combat is a lot better now; I can snap the neck of a person instantly, whereas before, it took me a while.

The one thing about that is it's now quick and painless. Before, everything was excruciatingly painful to them. Pain is what I want people to feel. For Roxen.

Not only do I miss her, but I miss everyone from One. Majoris, Velorum, Topaz, Zak, Atlas, all amazing people. Parts of me can't help but feel guilty about not saving certain people at the right time, but if I did save them, I probably wouldn't be here today.

What would it matter though? Roxen would be with me again.

All I care about is her.

Thinking about it, I guess I care about my auntie and cousin. They've done so much for my family. All I do is cause chaos; if it wasn't for my cousin Domitia taking my sister Liza in, nursing her, cherishing her the way I can't, then we'd all be in a massive mess.

Well, more of a mess than we're already in.

I forgot to mention that my skills with a sledgehammer have vastly improved. Learning it was kind of like a payment to Majoris. He volunteered first. This was his dream. All he talked about was the games and how he wanted to become a known Victor.