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Fourteen

ASHTON

I didn’t stay much longer at my parent’s house, it was getting dark and I knew my dad would probably get out of the basement to look for some food and I didn’t wanna see him. I’m still worried about my mom though, it’s quite obvious she’s not alright but she’s too damn proud to let me help her. At least I feel a bit better after talking to her, she always manages to make me feel lighter somehow. But of course I still haven’t forgotten about Luke and Summer.

I mean, I knew she was mad at me because I lied and I understand that, she had every reason to. It’s just that I still thought we’d figure things out and make it okay again. Especially after what was going on with us, we had something good there. But then she simply put me aside, as I don’t matter at all, and got together with Luke.

I know he likes her, he always has. They didn’t got to date for real, but when we were in high school and they met, geez I was so jealous of him. I knew he was a nice guy, and I think that’s the problem, he’s not an asshole like Logan and he definitely has a different effect over Summer than Logan did. Though she pretended it was not a big deal, being friends with someone for that long makes you capable of recognizing when the person is in love or not. And it was clear for me that she was crazy for him back then.

But being myself in love with her, I couldn’t be happier when he changed schools. Cause I would be the one to make her feel better if she was upset about him leaving and I’d be the one to make her forget about him. And that’s what I did, as her best friend that was my job, I needed to make sure she was alright, that she was happy, even if I knew she loved someone else. That’s exactly what I did.

But now he’s back and I don’t know how to deal with it, not when I had my hopes high that Summer could finally fall in love with me, not when I know they already slept together. There’s no chance for me in this, there never was. Luke is the one that’s supposed to be with her, now there’s no school anymore, there’s no one stopping him from being with her every minute of every day. And I know that’s what he’ll do, after all, he probably loves her as much as I do. Well, who wouldn’t anyway?

SUMMER

I’m sitting in the hall in front of Ashton’s apartment, my feet playing nervously with each other. The fact that I had actually waited two minutes standing in front of the door just to get the courage to knock and then discovered that he wasn’t there was so frustrating that I almost gave up and went back to my place.

But I didn’t.

Instead I just sat against the cold wall and tried to memorize what I’d say to him when he got back. Of course that didn’t work out, at the moment I saw him coming towards me through the hall, every useful word I know seemed to slip away from my mind.

I get up quickly and smile awkwardly at him, that looks at me surprised. I wonder if he actually thought I’d just stop trying to talk to him after all those unanswered calls. I mean, it's our friendship we're talking about, it's worth more than a few call and messages, right?

“We didn’t really get to talk last time you went to my place, so…” I shrug, waiting to see if he’d invite me in or something.

He nods slowly, taking a key out of his pocket and opening the door. I notice him biting his lip nervously. I watch him get in and run his fingers though his hair, looking around as searching for something to do other than looking at me.

“Ash” I call and he turns around “Luke and I, you got it wrong” I say softly and he shakes his head slightly, an humorless and low laugh coming out of his mouth.

“We don’t have to do this, okay? You don’t have to feel pity of me and I don’t have to pretend I’m fine either, like nothing has happened. Shit happens, we were a mistake. You’re with him now, I get it. Let’s just not make this more complicated than it needs to be”

“I’m not being pity of you, I’m trying to explain something by telling what actually happened. The least you can do is listen” 

He sighs and sits down on the couch reluctantly "Fine"

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I'm nervous that I won't say the right thing, but I have to. It's Ashton, I gotta make things okay again.

"I bumped into Luke when I was leaving your place, the night I found out about Logan. It's not like I went after him, like a payback or something. I didn't mean for any of this to happen but... well, I was upset with you and he asked me out, so I said yes"

"I know you were upset with me but you didn't have to go out with the first guy that showd up in front of you" Ashton says roughly, interrupting me. His eyes focused on his feet.

"We both know I didn't say yes just cause I was mad at you Ashton. You asked me to be honest, right? So that's what I'm doing. Luke and I... It's not like my feelings for him disappeared when he changed schools, I missed him. And when I saw him again that night, it was almost like nothing was different"

Ashton gets up, running his hands through his hair, and stares at me serious "I don't need to hear this Summer"

"Yes, you do. Because the fact is, I might still have some feelings for him but I can't ignore what happened with us Ash, I can't ignore that I keep thinking about you, or that you're my best friend and I love being with you, and I sure cannot ignore my heart beating faster whenever you kiss me"

He stays in silence for a while, some surprise evident in his eyes. But he gets back to looking at the ground, shaking his head slightly "You slept with him Sum" He murmurs.

"I didn't! We just... had a moment. We came to our senses before anything else could happen" I bite my bottom lip, that had started shaking out of nowhere, I don't know how to deal with this. I don't wanna loose Ashton.

"Summer?" He asks lowly, noticing a tear fall down my cheek.

"I'm sorry, okay? Sorry for being so confused, sorry that I never noticed you had feelings for me, for putting you through this, I..." I hide my face in my hands, suddenly feeling too lost to talk.

 "Hey, Sum" I feel Ashton's arms around me when he hugs me, carresing my hair.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Ash. I'm sorry"

"Don't" He takes my chin,making me look at him "You're just confused, I get it. This is my fault, if I hadn't lied to you about Logan in the first place... I don't wanna hurt you"

He presses his lips against mine gently, taking a deep breath when he pulls away "I'm not gonna ask you to stop seeing him, alright? He...You sill feel something for him, I can't ask you to pretend there's nothing between the two of you. But" He stops for a second, hesitating a bit, his eyes fixed in mine "I can ask for a chance, a chance to make you mine. A chance to prove that...Summer, I..."

He doesn't complete his sentence, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me urgently. My heart beats faster as one of his hands grabs my waist, pulling me closer. I feel myself loosening up in his arms, moving my lips in sync with his, I grab the hem of his shirt and slip my fingers through his hair. He pulls away after a moment, just enough so he can whisper against my llips, his breath still uneven.

"I love you Sum" He pecks my lips slightly and his green eyes meet mine "I love you so much. And I never wanna loose you"

I can't avoid a shaking smile and a nervous laugh. I pull him by the hair and kiss him quickly "You won't loose me even if you want Ashton Irwin"

"Good" He gives me a wide smile before hugging me tight, placing small kisses on my neck. I can still feel his grin against my skin.

We're okay. 

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Just a friendly reminder that Hannah's still around ;)

Thanks for reading xx