5SOS Preferences

#7 Not Over You

Song Preference: Not Over You // Gavin Degraw

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A s h t o n: "Dreams, that's where I have to go to see your beautiful face anymore"

"Fuck" I mumble and pull out my phone. 4:00am damn it. I've just woken up from a dream, and wonderful dream. I rack my brain for answers as to what the dream could've meant. The dream consisted of (Y/N) and I talking, for the first time since our breakup, and we talked about giving us another chance. I would love for that to happen honestly. It's been a good two and a half months and I still see her beautiful face in my dreams. It's not like we ended on bad terms, but we didn't exactly end on good terms either. I know she's still friends with the other boys and I still have hers and a friend of hers number in my phone. I scroll my contacts until I reach her name and decide to text her. "Hey (Y/N), its me Ashton? I know you should probably be heading to bed or something by now. Anyway when you see this text or call me back if you can." I look at the message for a good ten minutes before finallyhitting send, ready to win (Y/N) back,

C a l u m: "If you ask me how I'm doing I would say I'm doing just fine I would lie and say that you're not on my mind"

I feel someone snatch my ear bud out my ear and a body plops down next to me. "How are you doing bro" Luke asks placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'm fine man, don't even worry about it," I tell him giving a small forced smile. Looking back out the window of the tour bus I get back to thinking. I can't believe today would've been mine and (Y/N)'s two year anniversary if we hadn't of broken up last month. I still can't believe it has been a month and she's still on my mind damn near every single day. Luke asks again claiming he's making sure I'm fine, but he and I both know I'm lying. He knows I miss her like hell, but I'm so glad he doesn't press the topic further. "You need to talk to her Cal. Both of you are definitely in need of some closure." With that Luke heads off to another room leaving me to my thoughts. I can't help but consider what Luke said and am seriously considering it.

L u k e: "Took this heart and put it through hell, But still you're magnificent"

"C'mon man, you have to get up, it's been three days. You have to get out of bed sometime." I could really not give less of a fuck at this moment. I can hear Michael mutter something to Calum along the lines of "Give him a break; he's going through the emotional post breakup phase." It's true. I've recently broken up with my girlfriend of a year and two months (Y/N). Honestly, I thought I would be happy as hell when (Y/N) called it quits. She has put my heart through hell and vice versa. With as dysfunctional a relationship we had no one thought we'd even make it past the two month range, let alone over a year. "Fuck off guys let me wallow in self-pity some more," I mumble to the guys from under my covers. Damn I really miss her, and I'd give anything to get her to speak to me. Yeah I'll admit the argument was one I started, but she'd said some pretty shitty thing to me as well. Things along "selfie bitch" "self-centered asshole" were among the things said to one another, and I guess this argument was the last straw because eventually she told me to go to hell, I could fuck myself and that we were done. With that she walked out and left me alone. But even through the entirety of our relationship I have never once told her that I loved her, even when she would imply it to me on our good days. Through all the heartache this girl is causing me I love her and she's truly magnificent.

M i c h a e l: "I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me I turn around and I'm back in the game"

"Michael c'mon please we can't keep doing this, I love you but all these arguments are not healthy and I can't take it. I constantly feel like I'm losing my mind every time we break up and get back together," (Y/N) tells me as I stand on her front porch asking for another chance. "Oh c'mon (Y/N) maybe it's not healthy but love causes you to take so many risks and even through all the hurt and shit I wouldn't be here talking to you right now if I didn't think we could honestly make this right. Don't you know that?" I ask you looking you dead in the eyes. "Mike don't-" "Don't what (Y/N) fight for what I love and care about? Yeah well that's the way I was raised and I think we can work things out." I reach for your hands pulling you to me "We're special (Y/N), what we have is so damn unique and worth it. Opposites attract you know that," I say giving you a small smile. I'm relieved when you lace your fingers through mine giving my hand a light squeeze before pulling back. "Okay you know what fine, but only on one condition. We start over and take this slower, we don't try to continue where we left off on things. Deal?" I smile a real smile for the first time since we've broken up "Michael Gordon Clifford, nice to meet you," I reply stretching my hand out.

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So like today's been a thoughtful day and suddenly I got inspired after feeling like a mindless zombie today. Sorry Lukes is hella longer but I was feelin his, and sorry Mike's is shit. Anyway feel free to request :-)

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