I spy with my little eye (Sequel to 'Invisible')

Chapter 12: What about Blair?

Luke's POV

As days past, the funeral came closer. And that was certainly something everyone was dreading. For all kinds of reasons.

I was afraid that after the funeral, we'd just move on, like nothing ever happened. And somehow I knew that that was what's going to happen. Mom was already trying to move on, she never really grieved.

I was spending a lot of time in my room. I was grieving, healing. I was also thinking about Blair constantly.

I had asked my parents to speak at the funeral. I felt like, since I failed Blair, it was my duty now, to show Blair I really cared about her. I can only hope she knew that.

And so I spent hours on this text I was going to say. I was writing lines, certain things I'd want to say that people knew about Blair. Yet I'd erase them pretty much immediately. I wanted this speech to be perfect, it needed to be perfect.

"Hey Luke," Rach said as she entered my room. She walked to me and sat down on my bed, next to me. "What are you doing?"

I let out a deep breath. "I'm trying to write the speech for the funeral."

"How's that going?"

I shrugged, sighing deeply.

"Let me see." She took my piece of paper and started reading it. While she was reading it, her facial expression changed quite a bit, and I couldn't make out if that was a good thing or not.

When she was done, she handed it back to me. "Well?"

She sighed. "It's ok."

"Just ok?" I looked back at the paper.

"This isn't something you'd say, ever." She took the paper, motioning to certain lines I had written. "This isn't you, Luke."

I sighed. "I just want it to be perfect."

She showed me a small smile. "Then write it from your heart."

I looked from her to my piece of paper. "How do I do that?"

"Just..." She paused. "What would you say to her?"

I looked back up at her. "To Blair?"

Rach nodded.

I looked back down. "I'd tell her how sorry I am for not being a brother to her, how I left her when she needed me, how I failed to protect her against bullies..." I started sniffling. "I failed as a brother."

Rachel pulled me in for a hug. "I know those are sad things, Luke." She caressed my back, calming me in the process. "But what would you say to her?"

I pulled back. "I'd say that." I wiped my tears away. "What else?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I'd tell her other things."

"Like?"

"Like..." She slowly smiled while looking down. "How beautiful she was at the dance, she was happy and seemed to be comfortable with all her friends around her." She got up. "How brave she was to stand up against her bullies, she felt like she was alone, but she did it anyway. She's so strong." She looked outside my window. "How she was a wonderful person, always caring about other people's feelings." She then looked down. "No matter how much those people hurt her."

I looked down at my piece of paper. What Rachel said were all positive things, good things Blair has done.

Rachel looked at me. "Tell her why you're so proud to call her your sister."

I slowly nodded, then looked at the piece of paper I was holding. I threw that away and took a new piece of paper. I started writing.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Rachel smile at me. She then looked back outside.

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Third person's POV

"Honey, can you help me clean the table?" Blair's mom asked Blair's dad. She wanted the whole house to be clean, because she wanted to have a new beginning after the funeral.

Blair's dad however wasn't moving, he was still looking down, at his hands. He was deep in thoughts, blaming himself for what happened to Blair. He remembers the day of Blair's suicide attempt, he'd ask his wife to stay until the evening for Luke's return. He didn't want Blair to be alone, because she seemed very sad. Yet his wife urged him to leave sooner. And then Blair did what she did...

It was all he could think about, how this series of choices destroyed his life, for good. His little girl was gone, and she'd never return. And it was all his fault.

"Honey?" She walked to him, nudging him a bit. When she noticed he didn't react, she sat down next to him. "I know this is a sad situation, but it'll get better."

He looked at her, he couldn't believe how she could be like this towards this whole situation. "What do you mean?"

She placed her hand on his. "Blair's in a better place now, she has peace in her mind."

He got so angry hearing that. "How can you even say that, about our daughter?!"

"Honey," She was taken back by her husband's outburst. She knew he was having a hard time dealing with this situation. "She's gone, we have to accept that."

He got up, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "How can you say that? About our little girl." He sniffled.

She got up as well. She reached for his hands, trying to calm him down. "I know it's a sad situation, but - "

"Oh, you know?" He shook his head. "You haven't shown that, at all. Luke and I are grieving, we're broken because of this. And you," He looked up at his wife, he couldn't believe how she was still acting this way. "You don't even seem to care. Blair's gone, and her own mother doesn't care about that. Even Rachel is more broken than you." He looked down again before adding. "Why are you acting this way?"

She looked away, crossing her arms in the process. "Someone needs to be strong."

"That's not why. Why are you really?" He already started raising his voice a little, he was getting frustrated by her behavior and her lack of answers.

She looked at her husband, surprised to see him act this way towards her, as he never did this before. "Luke needs me."

He sighed, slowly getting desperate. "Why, honey?"

She slowly looked down. "I told you why." she said quietly.

He took a hold of her hands, making her look at him. "Blair deserves better than this."

She pulled her hands away, turning her back to her husband. She was getting irritated. "Don't say that." She ordered.

"Then tell me why you're acting this way!"

She noticed he wasn't having this, he was staying put. Something he didn't do, ever. Realizing this, realizing she couldn't win this... She looked down.

"Why?!" He raised his voice once again.

And that was it, for her. "Because I don't know what else to do!" She sniffled, finally showing some emotions regarding this situation.

Her husband looked at her, he was relieved she finally talked, but wasn't saying anything. He knew that'd stop her from talking. So he sat down and listened.

"I always felt strong and in control of everything. But now, with this..." She went to sit down next to her husband. "I've never felt so powerless." She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. "It's killing me, I don't know what to feel anymore..." And right then, for the first time since she had heard the news about Blair, she cried.

And her husband took her in his arms, comforting her while the grieving process finally started for his wife.