Counterfeit

-fiftyseven--

--fiftyseven- 

I had a hold on your soul, but I lost my grip, let you go.

I should have carried us both. 

+ Lost On You +

-

THEY WERE RIGHT in front of me. So real and unreachable. The entire concept unfathomable, but in some way, it was how I understood. 

I stepped closer to them. Rather than focusing on what they were saying to me after all this time, I moved around them as much as I could, almost in some sort of disbelief at how I could see them. 

The smallest hint of a smirk appeared on Charleston as I was doing so. Like he was the sun and I was the earth only just discovering the depths of the universe. 

"Pip?" My dad stopped himself, turning around to face my current direction. I had to take a step back, momentarily freaked out at how advanced my world was.  

Charleston came over to me, his hand resting on my back as slowly, he guided me back over to where he had been standing. I looked forward at my father expectantly. Waiting. For all the secrets. 

Charleston brought a stool over to us. Knowing from the way he guided me to sit, I could tell that the awaiting conversation was bound cause a shift somewhere in the world. At least his hand was on mine. 

"I know you've got a lot you want to learn. Where do you want to start?" 

Such an impossible question, I thought. But at least it offered me whatever knowledge I wanted. 

"Why did I forget?" Even the knowledge I would never be ready to accept. 

"You forgot because of a process called The Alteration." 

"The Alteration?" 

"Yes. It's something everyone has to endure before their arrival at a Dormir facility." 

"Even Charleston?" 

My dad hesitated in his answer. Charleston shifted uncomfortably behind me. 

"No. Not Charles. Residents only." 

"How come?" 

"Because... Because they don't want you to know the truth..about the rule." 

"What I meant when I told you that most of the people here aren't real." Charleston elaborated, having more certainty than my dad over what I knew. 

"Because if you knew that, then your purpose here would be exposed. And then there would be a rebellion because the world would know how wrong it was." 

I needed to back-track a little. "What is The Alteration, and what did they do to me?" 

"It's a 28-day period where one's memories are altered. Not taken, not gone, just altered." My dad informed me. 

"Meaning they can come back? All of them?" 

He sighed heavily. "Pip, most people don't even know the truth. We don't have enough information on it yet to know the long-term effects. But, Charleston told me you remembered a little. Is it real? Do you remember before?" 

I didn't want to answer. There was unsettling pit that began to burn in my stomach. How could I tell the boy who had saved me that I had allowed myself to forget him? I looked over my shoulder to where he was standing right behind me. My head pressed against his stomach as I leaned into him, my body begging that he would forgive me for my confession. 

He must have been able to hear the dread as it drummed its way through my chest. His arm wrapped around me. "It's okay," he said. "If you forgot me, you can tell me." 

There was some relief, but it wasn't clarification that it would not break his heart. It was too great of a risk to tell him just yet. "There was a feeling when I first saw him. And when I read his name, it was like I discovered a truth about who I was, or why I was here. That's all I know - that the feelings were still there. They didn't all fit for a while, and I didn't understand what each of them meant, but they were there. Guess you can't change a love." I mumbled the last part to myself, only after, praying that he had heard it. 

"But, back to The Alteration," I was quick to change the focus. "How come I remembered some people, but not others?" I knew it couldn't be a coincidence that I forgot Charleston; as each day passed, it became evident to me that he had been the most important person in my life. There had to be a reason why I forgot him. I couldn't let it be for nothing. 

"The people that they think can change you, the ones who appear as the greatest influences in your life, they're always the ones you're made to forget. They want to take away your connections and other people's power over you, perhaps so that your sincerest trust would fall to this place - the ones who, in your mind, were saving you. They didn't want to allow any possibility for you not to trust them."  

"How do they do it? It sounds like such an impossible thing. But they've done it to hundreds?" 

"More like thousands." My dad mumbled, forgetting I could hear. "They perform a series of manipulation tests whilst you're in an induced sleep-" 

"Brainwashing." Charleston interrupted, his tone thick with spite. I couldn't tell whether he was correcting my dad, or refusing to minimize the wickedness of the procedure. 

"Uh, yes. Brainwashing, you could say." My dad was a little taken aback by Charleston's bluntness, but continued without mention of it. "Through mapping the brain, they're able to determine your reactions and perceptions to certain things: ideas, beliefs, thoughts. From there, they alter it according to who they want you to be."

-fiftyseven--

I'm so sorry that it's been weeks since the last update!

I've honestly been so busy with filming Counterfeit, putting it together and editing, coursework, rehearsals for my performances, and we're beginning exam prep to make everything better. Also, my best friend from Australia arrived and I hadn't seen her for more than a year, so I've really been trying to prioritize our time.

On a side note, I'm 18 in 17th days (from when this is published)??? That's the 25th of March. YES, ZAYN LEFT ONE DIRECTION ON MY BIRTHDAY. NO, DON'T MENTION IT.

Sorry if this chapter was confusing. This whole book is in a desperate need for editing and I know that I've probably explained the same thing over and over in different ways, forgetting that I have. You just gotta deal with it.

In better news, in 2 or 3 chapters time, you guys are gonna get THE cutest Pip and Charleston chapter ever, and I can't wait to see your reaction.

ALSO I FINISHED THE 100. WILL TALK MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, BUT WHERE IS THE TRAILER? JASON, COME ON MAN.

Thank you for getting this to 14K! I love you guys!

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God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.