THE DOG HUNTERS (completed)

51 - BACK TO YE OLD BUNKER

Off into the night, cursing myself for trying to be so cool, cursing myself for not grabbing some booze for the road.

I was on a new mission, but the more I walked, and the darker it seemed to get, and the sound of traffic seemed to get louder, and then I forgot what it was exactly I was up to.

And my drunk wore off.

Those weeks I'd been with Tabby I'd grown accustomed to the rules. Now that I was back on the streets, nothing made much sense. And this was only after a couple hours of wandering. I thought about turning around and heading back to Tabby, but that wouldn't work. That was done. Finding Lulubelle didn't make much sense either. I'd only gotten into it because I was drunk and trying to fuck with Tabby. I guess I was sick of having Tabby boss me around so I'd gotten stubborn. And stupid.

So what was I left with?

The bunker.

I'm not an adventurer, and I'm barely a survivor, and I'm not proud, soit should come as no surprise that I decided to head back to the bunker.

Which wasn't easy since I wasn't sure where I was. I had to wait until dawn, when I could see where the foothills and the mountains were,which gave me a basic compass. Then it was a matter of finding the right boulevard to hike up. Luckily it wasn't too hot anymore. I got back to Edendale in the afternoon, just in time to dive some dumpsters behind Burger King, and pick up enough calories to last me up into Rode's Hollow. It was dark again when I found myself on thestreet that led into the woods, that led to the bunker.

A long day, but when you don't have anything else to do, that's what itis.

I told Johnny Bobo to fuck off. I might have blown the last intimate relationship I'd ever have, but I still wasn't like him because I still had a mission, a place to go, even when it was pathetic like this. It was still something.

The bunker hadn't moved. From what I could tell there hadn't been much activity in the area. When I crouched down to key in the security code, I discovered the panel had been smashed. It looked like someone had tried to kick it, maybe to get it to work, maybe because of frustration, or maybe they didn't want anyone getting inside.

I sat there in the dirt and broken glass, and thought about the possibilities this development created, and felt real still. I was thirsty, and I had expected some familiar bunker food (maybe deviled ham and stale saltine crackers) and some cool water, followed by some warm Heineken. I listened to the sounds of night, animals, small ones, like me trying not make much noise.

 I lay back and felt sharp little things dig into my back, and expected death, figuring this was the end. It seemed right. I hadn't even come close to sprigging Tabby in her butt, and if I couldn't get her that meant it would probably for sure never happen. So... The weird thing was though, lying there, with absolutely nothing to do and no reason to live, and no clue how I was going to survive, I just didn't feel death. I didn't feel it coming. I knew wasn't interested in it if it was.