Tell Me Why - Anthony Trujillo

30

Raegan

"200 days."

The words ran through my head.

200 days.

I haven't told anyone.

I can't.

There is so much I'm going to miss and so much I haven't done yet. There's so many people I don't want to leave. There's so much.

"RJ?" A voice asked snapping me out of my thoughts. "Hey C." I greeted. "I'm worried about you." He directly stated. "I'm okay." I responded. "That's a lie." another voice stated. I turned to see Jake. 

"What happened at your last appointment? Don't even try lying, you've been of since then." He asked. "200 days." I mumbled. "What?" Chance asked. I knew he understood, just didn't want to face reality. "No." Jake stated.

"Bullshit! Absolute bullshit!" He suddenly yelled. He was upset, but the tears could drown him. "Bro, stop!" Chance attempted to stop him.

"No! You're right here Rae! I can see you! You're not in the hospital, you're not in pain! How the hell are you dying?" He questioned.

"C. Leave." I commanded. He hesitated before walking out of my room. I turned back to Jake to see sitting on my bed with his head in his hands. I quietly sat next to him.

"Kindergarten. When the kids were picking on me because I spilled chocolate milk on my white pants, you spilled some on your white dress so they would stop." He remembered. I raised an eyebrow in confusion as to what he was doing. 

"First grade, when I tripped during our play, and you ran out with only half your costume ready to help me up." 

"Fourth grade. The boys were making fun of me for liking Maggie. You took the spotlight off of me by pretending you liked Johnathon."

"Sixth grade, the kids were making fun of us because we had our first kisses together. You brought every time somebody kissed somebody else whenever it was mentioned."

"Ninth grade. When my vines started becoming popular. Everyone called me a fuck boy. But you shot every reason why I'm not at them."

"Eleventh grade. When I dropped out. Everyone thought I was too stupid to continue. They made sure I was aware of that."

"You were there Rae. You were always there, you can't just leave like that. You are my fucking world Rae. Do you understand that? You are the reason why I'm still strong. When I cry on screen, the tears are real because I'm thinking about losing you. I know I tell you I love all the time, but it is still not enough for you to know how much you mean to me." 

"When Alissa left and Neels cheated on you. You made sure I was okay, before you even thought about crying. There are so many reasons Rae. So many. I don't want you to leave. You can't leave me here alone, I need you more than you know." he concluded.

"C'mere." I muttered to him. I opened my arms, and embraced him tightly. "I did what a friend is supposed to, nothing more. You got this far on your own, I was just there. You can continue Jake. You have so much potential. Don't waste it, because I'll be up there, and I'll be your guardian, okay?" I lectured.

"You don't deserve this." he whimpered. "It's okay, 200 days is a while, and I'm going to use all of it up. With you and the team." I smiled looking up at him. 

He grabbed either side of my face. "I'm going to miss you." he told me. "I'll miss you too Jakey." I replied.

And that was day of the 200. 199 left......