Tell Me Why - Anthony Trujillo

26

Raegan

When Anthony's eyes met mine as he walked inside my hospital room I could see the worry and pain flash through his. None of us thought we'd have to be in this situation again.

"I'm going to leave you guys to it." Tessa said with a small smile, giving my hand one last squeeze before leaving the room. Jake had went to do some phone calls so he was already out.

"Hey." I said quietly. "Hey." Anthony replied, sitting down in the chair Tessa sat in before. "How are you?" He asked softly. I shrugged. How could I explain that everything hurt? How could I explain that I wished it would all end?

"Why did you ask for me?" Anthony asked hesitantly. With a sigh I turned to lay on my side so I could face him. "I want to talk." I responded. "I want us to be best friends again, to mend things, before it maybe gets too late." I added as an explanation. "Don't say that." Anthony muttered, looking down at his hands that laid in his lap. "We have to consider it this time. Surgery won't be possible and we don't know how fast it's spreading and if chemo will be good enough." I wanted us to be real about it. We couldn't sugar coat it, not this time. "You're strong." He said. "My mind may be strong but my body will give up eventually." I replied.

There was a short silence as he took in my words, probably realizing that I was somewhat right. "I'm not mad at you for what happened in New York. I can't be." Anthony spoke up. I was glad he wasn't but that didn't change how mad I still was at myself for doing it. "And I'm not mad at you anymore for what you did. Don't get me wrong..I won't be able to forget soon but I realized that living in the past isn't doing me any good." I told him. He looked up at me again, a small smile on his face.

"I'm so sorry for what I did. I can't say it enough." He sighed. "I never had an explanation as to why." I pointed out, hoping he'd give one this time. There was another long pause before he spoke again. "I-I guess I wanted to be close to someone and feel wanted. You were pushing me and everyone away at the time and I couldn't take it. I was also scared to lose you. I was scared you'd just be gone one day." I could see in his face that he did regret it deeply. It didn't change the fact that it happened but it showed me that he still was the boy I used to know so well. "Okay." I nodded slowly.

"I want to be by your side this time. I want to be with you everyday if needed. I won't run away scared this time." He then told me. I smiled at him and reached out to grab his hand. "Thank you T. For everything you have ever done for me. And I'm sorry for everything wrong I did to you." I said. "You're my best friend and it was so hard living without you." I added. "We're together now." Anthony squeezed my hand.

We stared in each other's eyes and for the first time in a while I felt butterflies in my stomach. How I've missed those beautiful orbs. How I've missed to feel this close to him. This time we weren't close because of stupid childish game or to prove something to each other but because we were best friends.

Anthony opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted by my phone ringing. "Excuse me." I mumbled as I grabbed it. It was my mother calling me.

"Hello?" I accepted and held the phone to my ear. "Raegan! Are you okay?!" My mother sounded frantic, probably having heard from someone what had happened. My family knew about the cancer being back only because they were miles away from me and should now. "I'm okay Ma." I confirmed. "Why do you I have to har from media that you're in hospital? Why didn't you call me?" Mother was frantic, sounding worried and scared for me. "I'm sorry Ma." I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for the whole 'You should call me' speech. I heard her sigh. "It's alright. Just..Just call next time. How's your state as of right now?" She gave in, not able to mad at me. "I mean I'm okay as of right now. But I need to start chemo as quick as possible and get myself up and going again." I explained to her. "Alright. Call me for updates or text me. I need to get back to work." "Yeah of course I will." I replied. "I love you Rae." "I love you too Mom."

After placing my phone back on the beside table with a sigh, I turned back to Tony. "Your Mom?" He asked knowingly. I nodded. "She's worried." I told him. "Understandably." He replied to which I agreed. "When can you leave?" Anthony asked next. "I'm not sure. I'll have to ask the Doc." I answered and let out a yawn. Anthony smiled softly at me. "Go to sleep. I'll be there when you wake up." He suggested. "Promise?" I mumbled, already getting comfortable to go to sleep. "I promise." Anthony said and caressed my cheek as I closed my eyes with a small smile on my face.

Oh how I've missed his touch..