Please don't be in love with someone else

I felt nothing

Jack p.o.v.
The past week had been the best week of my life. Four days after seeing Finn and Ashley alive in the hospital they both got released. Ashley spend lots of time with her friends and I spent a bunch of time with mine, Millie swapping back and forth. But I think the times with me and Ash by ourselves were the best. Last night we took a tent to our backyard and slept under the stars. We had never done that before and it was beautiful. Ashley was beautiful and I was so glad she was alive.

Today Ash has gone out with her friends so I am going out too! On a date with Noah. I get myself up from the couch and get in the shower. I let the warm water rinse my body clean from all the odour of yesterday. I blow dried my hair when I got out. I tried to tame it but sadly it ended up a curly mess. That was okay though because Noah told me he liked that. I put on some jeans and a pink hoodie, pink always made me feel cuddly and cute

Hours later I heard a knock and the door and opened it to see Noah's smiling face. He made me laugh and happy and I trusted him a little. Not as much as my friends but quite a bit. "Hey Jack, you look good" he said grinning. I smiled back "awe thanks Noah!" We giggled as we walked to the car.

First he drove me to a fancy restaurant on Main Street. We sat down and Noah ordered for me. I don't know if I liked that but we just both got spaghetti so it wasn't a big issue. We talked over pointless stuff through our meal and left afterwords. Noah was now driving me somewhere out of town. "Where are you taking me Noah?" "You'll see boo" and we stopped talking after that.  It was dark outside now 11:30 but that was okay. The stars hadn't come out yet and Noah seemed to know this place off the back of his hand.

I didn't want to start a conversation, not now at last. I wanted to take in this moment of the slow, subtle music playing over the radio of Noah's dads car, the dark horizon and the feeling of happiness I felt. I was at peace with the world.

We started rattling off the road and into a field. I lifted my head and must've drifted off, "where are we?" I asked groggily. "Oh baby you sound so cute when your tired. In a field I gotta show you something. Soon enough he parks the car and got out. He grabbed a bunch of pillows and blankets out of the trunk and laid all but two on the roof. He handed me one taking one for himself. "In case your cold" he said.

Noah helped me get onto the roof and then he hopped on. We sat up there in silence for a little bit. "Noah tell me why we are here." I said obviously concerned. "There is supposed to be a shooting star tonight once all the stars come out in about one minute." I nodded drifting my gaze toward the sky. After a brief moment, the sky lit up with thousands and thousands of stars. They were beautiful. I felt a smile creep onto my face as I watched dancing fireflies and glowing stars and just as Noah said, a shooting star flew across the sky.

Just then Noah leaned over and started kissing me. I kissed back but soon in turned into a full blown makeout sesh with sloppy, messy kisses. They were not pleasant at all but I couldn't just stop kissing him. He pushed me so I was lying down, uncomfortably, on the truck roof. He began grinding and rocking his hips into mine but I didn't move. He didn't catch the hint.

Noah started kissing my jawline and down my neck leaving red marks. Shit. I didn't want those there. He kept kissing me and pulled my shirt off. Was I going to lose my virginity in this truck? Jesus. Suddenly he shot his hand down my pants and I jumped. I put my shirt back on quickly and jumped off the truck roof. Noah stared at me in confusion. "What was that Jack?" He asked me staring wide eyed at me. I didn't want to hurt him but I didn't enjoy that and I wasn't into it.

Noah I don't like you " I'm not ready Noah" I'm not apologizing for that "I'm sorry" I only thought I liked you  "I love you" "I love you too babe. I'll take you home" we got in the car and had the most awkward car ride in our lives. When I got home I ran straight up to my room. Everyone was sleeping and all I did was cry. I shut my window so Noah couldn't see me.

Why are you so stupid? You love Noah, right?  No you don't. Than why are you lying? You don't deserve him! You are worthless.

All these thoughts flooded my head and all I could do was cry and cry and cry until suddenly I had an idea. The only thing I knew to take the pain away. I grabbed my pill bottles and my blade and went to the bathroom. I cut and cut and cut until my whole bathroom floor was almost red stained.

Then the door creaked.

Ooo this is getting good. Idk how I feel about Noah like I wanted a bad character but I love him too much!!!! Kskaaoxksmsokwlqpakawnaoxmewn