Scars, Sounds & Secrets

Chapter 12 "With Strength and Love"

Niall's P.O.V

I couldn't control the tears that streamed down my face as I sat down by Amery's side holding her hand tightly, not wanting to let go of her. Ever. No way I was going to give up on her. She had to be the one... and I had lost her trust and probably killed her... All because of a secret I never wanted to hear.

"If she don't wake up in the time of a week... We'll know she didn't make it" The doctor had told me before he quietly apologized for the bad news and left the room again.

"One week" I repeated to myself. My babe had one week to gather all her strength and wake up again.

Monday... Tuesday... Wednesday.... Thursday, The day passed by so fast and suddenly it was Saturday night.

The lonely moon lit up the room as I sat in the position I had been sitting in all week. The guys had been here to check up on me once or twice a day but they left when I told them I needed to be alone.

I wiped the tears away and rubbed circles on the back of her hand. It was hard to believe how pale and weak she looked right now. It was a complete different girl from the beautiful, bubbly girl I had been laughing with a couple of days ago. The amazing, talented girl who had stolen my heart from the moment I first laid my eyes on her.

All I saw now was a bruised girl who had broken her arm and probably also her heart. The doctor said that she was lucky the damages was so minimal... I just praised myself lucky that she was still here. She could have... No, I don't even want to finish that sentence.

"I wish I had never kept it for you" I whispered. Of course I knew she probably couldn't hear me but I found it soothing and calming to talk to her... to get it all out. 

I just missed holding her in my arms as we talked. I just missed watching her play with our intertwined hands and her cute giggling everytime I leaned down to kiss her. And her laugh... The sweet, contagious laugh she had that instantly made me smile.

I missed her. My girlfriend. The only girl I needed to be happy.

"I just didn't want you to cry anymore" I added, my bottom lip quivering.

"What a great boyfriend I am" I said sarcastically trying to control my incredibly shaky voice. It was my fault! All of it! To avoid her to get hurt further, I almost killed her with my secrets. I bore my head into the bed and sniffled loudly.

I couldn't lose her...

"Niall..." A familar voice dragged me out of my thoughts and I turned my head to see my four best friends and Mr. Parks stare worried at me.

Zayn walked up and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He must have seen the tearstains on my cheeks. I buried my face in his shirt and cried out, knowing that they were all here to comfort me. Clearly without knowing that the only thing that could comfort me was the sound of Amery's voice.

"It's okay... Just get it all out" Zayn said quietly, padding my back.

"It's my fault... W-Why didn't I tell her?" I croaked out between sobs.

"Hey! Niall it wasn't your fault! It was an accident!" Harry said his deep voice sounding serious for once.

"Wait. What excactly was it you didn't tell her?" Louis asked as his usual curious self. I sniffled and pulled away from Zayn to look at Mr. Parks. His eyes were all red and puffy and I thought that I might be looking just like him; Broken and miserable.

He nodded slowly giving me the permission to tell the story. I sighed... exhausted from all the crying I had been through the last couple of days. All I had been doing was staying by her side, holding her hand and praying that she would open those beautiful eyes again.