Actual Love | a Lauren/You Fanfiction

19 • This Was It

Leaving that morning was difficult, with every part of my being begging me to stay with Lauren and talk to her about us. But I'd been impulsive enough the night before when I'd asked her to be my girlfriend for the night – I couldn't do that again, so I left.

Aunt Fiona picked me up, not mad that I'd stayed over because apparently the girls had texted her that I'd fallen asleep last night. I left Lauren a text to read for when she woke up, telling her I left in case she worried, but other than that, I said nothing more.

I didn't know how to feel, except I knew for sure that I was in love with the green-eyed girl who'd stolen my heart. As much as I tried, over and over again, to get over her and only remain friends, I couldn't. Whenever she looked at me, I saw us as more, always. With all the shit we'd been through, I still wanted her in my life. As more than a friend. And I wanted to tell her. But I wasn't sure if I was overly-emotional from last night, or if I truly meant it. So, I went to Alessia, the most unbiased person I could think of when it came to Lauren.

"Look, you're both adults," Alessia was saying with seriousness, over a cup of coffee. "Your relationship clearly means a lot to you both. As much as I hate this, I want you to be happy, Y/N."

I tried to read her expression. "So, you think I should do it? Tell her I want to be with her?"

She sighed. "Lauren has done some shitty things... but one thing I can say for certain is that she loves you. She always has. Even through all the bad."

Hearing Alessia, Lauren's number one hater, say that to me made me feel a lot more confident about all of this.

"There's no doubt she'll want to be with you," she continued knowingly, "especially from what you said happened last night. But you need to think about whether you're willing to risk this. If you're sure that she won't hurt you again, then do it. Be with her. It's obvious that you want to, Y/N."

"I do," I agreed, frowning.

She raised an eyebrow. "Then what's stopping you? I'm not. Nobody else is."

"I just wanted to hear what you had to say," I admitted, a little embarrassed. "I've made a lot of dumb mistakes when it came to Lauren. My love for her blinded me. I wanted to make sure that wasn't happening again. You're always honest with me, even when I don't want to hear it."

Alessia cracked a smile. "What else am I here for?"

I mirrored her smile. "Thank you, Alessia."

She saluted me playfully. "Anytime. You've got this."

I nodded, breathing out. I did have this. I finally knew what I wanted, and I was determined to get it.

–

It was later that same day when I finally responded to Lauren's text. She'd asked if I was okay, and if she'd screwed everything up by being with me last night. I hadn't answered at first, my head still mush as I didn't know what to say. But then I reassured her everything was fine and I wanted to talk to her at my aunt's place. Aunt Fiona was at work, so we'd have privacy as I told her how I felt.