Doppled in Gray [Discontinued]

Doppled in Gray [chapter twenty-two]

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Haran is aware that I am now under order to keep watch on Amber. Neither of us are absolutely sure why I must be the one to watch him or why he even needs to be watched. Nevertheless, as I walk down the hall at a far enough distance Amber doesn’t notice me, guilt still fills into my gut, and it takes most of my strength to push it far away enough to keep walking.

His tense body weaves in and out of the throngs of moving people, as if he has lived within a city all of his life, sometimes even leaving me wondering where he has gone for a moment until I spot him again and can remain moving. He never looks back, such confidence in himself that even leaves me a bit suspicious. It seems more likely to me that Amber would be more wary, especially after having to be careful at the encampment for so long.

I follow him to a room that I know well. He is on a grey metal slab, eyes closed and looking quite lifeless, even with all the wires hooked up to him. He is very calm within  his own virtual world, and without checking on the large computer at the back of the room I know where he has put himself.

I start to get the wires out where they are needed, copying the placement that Amber has them in when I don’t remember myself. I connect myself to the computer and I wait to slip out of consciousness. It takes me only a minute and when I close my eyes I am then I’m in the place that only we knew.

Amber is perched up in the tree looking out into to the distance where the sun is slowly setting. When his eyes brush against my form I become achingly aware of myself, wishing that I had changed the setting. This place brings back too many memories.

He inches down enough to take my hand and pulls me up into the tree branch next to him. We are both silent for a moment, enjoying the sunset that doesn’t really exist. We bathe in the false sense of security that our memory gives, relating this place to complete privacy.

“I knew you would come, Daze. I was wishing that you wouldn’t have, that you would have convinced me you were someone else, but I knew.”

I bite my lip, trying to find a way to refute his claims, but I sigh instead. Trying to lie now wouldn’t help either of us.

“So you didn’t believe when they killed my doppelganger at the encampment?” I ask, voice bland.

“Even though you looked exactly the same, I knew that it wasn’t you. When they killed her, you screamed out Pher’s name. It was like you didn’t even know he was dead. Even Raymie didn’t believe it.”

I brush my fingers against the texture of the tree lovingly, remembering how I was willing to talk of anything when I was within its branches. But now, I still feel a wariness that I know will never really leave me. My mouth opens and closes several times, never quite figuring out what to say.

“When did you meet Haran?” Amber asks, the area filling with his apparent distaste.

“We met when I first came to New Washington. I would be dead now if it wasn’t for him.”

“You love him,” Amber concludes.

“I think I do. What I feel comes closer to that word than anything else.”

“And I suppose that it was easy to just forget about me.”

“I gave you a chance, Amber. You could have came with me but you didn’t. We’ll never know what could have been between us.”

His lips touch mine, and for a moment, I don’t stop it. I search for fireworks, dreading an electricity that will make me feel different. There was nothing but a flicker of recognition. I pull away from the kiss and frown at him. He looks down, his face reddening.

“You can’t blame a guy for trying, Daze.”

“I’m going to go. Don’t stay in here too long. You never know what could happen.”

I stand on the tree branch and step off it. For a moment, I am flying, and in the next I am waking up from the cold hard slab and taking the wires off of me. Something has been closed in my mind, but instead of bothering me I feel complete contentment. I take a deep steady breath of the stale air and hold it within my lungs, listening to the silence. I hear footsteps outside and I slip out as a few agents step in.

####

When I get home that night I am not sure what brings me to take a walk. The night air just welcomes me into its open arms and I am walking on the neon streets of New Washington. Honestly, not much has changed since I first stepped onto the cold hard cement sidewalk for the first time. I still see women dressed in little triangles that they like to call clothing while others are dressed as modestly as me. There are still billions of light making even the darkest night, like this one, full of light. But as someone grabs my hand and pulls me into a nearby alleyway I know that one thing has changed. Me.

I twist to loosen my attackers grip on me and then shift to punch them, hearing a satisfying crack from their nose.

“Goddamit! I knew agents were strong but this hurts!”

Before me was Pher, gripping his nose and looking at me like a beaten puppy

“You shouldn’t have grabbed me,” I say softly.

“You shouldn’t have punched me in the face!”

I hush him and gently put a hand on his shoulder.

“What do you want?” I try to control my voice but emotion leaks out every time I see Pher.

“I’ve been looking for you for week! Do you know that? And what do I get? A punch in the face. I can’t believe this.”

“Mister Christopher,” I say firmly. “What do you want?”

He looks at me once more and recognition finally washes on to his face.

“We can’t talk here. It’s too dangerous. I’m in trouble, Daze. They’re looking for me. You don’t understand.”

I slide my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him close.

“You just called me Daze, Christopher,” I whisper sharply at him.

“They tried to stop the memories, but they only got stronger. I remember a whole different life, and I know that it’s true.” Tears start to leak out of his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Daze. I never got a chance to save you, and now everyone is going to die.”