When In Paris

Chapter 1

"They say your loved ones will love you forever and be there for you through thick and thin."

How I wish that was so true but ever since that tragic accident 5 years ago happened my mother has become more protective of me despite her being very focused on her work and being very distant around me when she is home. I don't know what happened to cause that.

It could be the fact that she's still struggling as a single Mum to my sister Kayla and me ever since our father went to prison. That was years ago but she never really recovered from that traumatic night when we discovered how rock bottom he reached with his new job opportunity that made us move to New York from Canada which resulted into him turning to drugs and alcohol and getting addicted to them pretty bad. If that wasn't enough he was having an affair with his assistant. I was a bit too young to understand what was happening but I never saw her that upset till that night. She was always smiling, happy and laughing before that night and I will never forgive my father for what pain she caused us but especially Mum.

Kayla and I have been doing whatever we can to help her and encouraging her to go to talk to someone but that always doesn't end well and ends with her telling us that she appreciates us looking out for her but we know nothing about what's she going through and to just mind our own business.

I and Kayla couldn't think it could get any worse but when she moved to start her new life with her husband Kyle in Hawaii. Our Mum hit a new rock bottom and also turned to alcohol and drugs to a point where it could really bad and we nearly lost her.

Kayla always blames herself for causing this but we never could've known this would happen and she has the right to live her new life with her little family and job over there.

It could always be because she still has remaining fears about the accident and thinking something like that could happen to me again with me being the only child left.

But I guess I will find out soon enough.

That was all 5 years ago after my grandmother I was really close with passed away. Everything with my life was great before she died and then everything fell apart.

She was literally the glue of this family.

Now all that's left is a big mess just waiting to be cleaned up by me probably and I have no idea how to clean it up. But I know something has to be done because we can't keep living like this.

I'm sitting down at the beach staring at the beautiful sunset that is setting below the water reflecting on my life and thinking about how life used to be my grandmother passed away.

Tears keep falling down my face as I keep reliving that one day that changed my life forever. There isn't a day that passes that I don't miss her terribly and wish she was here beside me especially now with all that is going on and how badly I need her advice on what to do.

I just miss her so much.

A smile appears on my face when I think about all the memories that were created on this very beach. This very beach was her all time favourite spot where she would take me and Kayla. We went there all the time with her that I've truly lost count on how many times it was but it was a lot.

Her ashes were also scattered here as one of her dying wishes so I come here whenever I want to be close to her or just when I need to get away and need some time for myself. Which is pretty much everyday with everything going on and the little people I have to talk to that ain't busy with their own lives.

Kayla and I try to stay in touch as much as we can and be there for each other during those tough times when we need each other the most with how distant our mother is. But with us being in different time zones and how busy she is with her new life with Kyle and being a mother with giving birth to their second child earlier this year it's just not the same as when she was here.