When In Paris

Chapter 11

CRYSTAL

"Well, I'm waiting Crystal," she says still looking at me. "Are you seriously texting the Justin we were just talking about?"

Rachel is glaring at me waiting for me to answer her question, but I don't even know where to start. All I can do is stand there and say nothing.

"Crystal, are you even going to say anything?" She asks afterwhile.

I wish I could because I shouldn't be scared in telling her the truth. It's just my best friend but at the same time I know my best friend and she is going to freak out and I don't really want to cause a scene in the shop. This isn't really the place to have this conversation.

I look around the shop and then pull Rachel closer to me. "Yes, I will but not here," I finally say to her. "So can you help me decide what I should wear to Liam's farewell concert so we can get out of here."

She sighs. "Fine but you better tell me everything and I mean everything," she says. You can't leave anything out."

"Ok promise," I say. "Now are you sure what you picked out for me isn't too revealing?" I ask her unsure if I should really buy this outfit to wear to the concert.

I can't help but smile as I look at Rachel still looking amazing in her crimson two-piece outfit.

I love how confident Rachel is in showing off her body and so she should be because it's simply flawless. Anyone would kill to have a body like hers.

I wish I was that confident with my body like she is. But truth is I'm just and never have been. I haven't had the best relationship with my body and have been with people that have made me hate my body with all the curves and flaws.

As long as I can remember from the time I was Jake, he would constantly body shame my body and make me feel bad about how I looked in any outfit. He would get really angry at me if I didn't look my best for him and it was even worse when he would take me to see his family or his friends. So long I've abused by him and most of it started out with how I looked and it took me a really long time to get over that and get to where am now with my body confidence. 

Even after Jake was gone from my life I would still be really hard on my body and how I look.  It took me a long time with lots of help to learn how to love and embrace my body for what it is and how it looks because I should be proud of my body for what it can do with all the curves and flaws. 

It still pretty hard for me but at least I'm trying to be more kinder on myself and my body. I still try to wear baggy clothes when I can to cover up my body in public. So of course, it feels a bit weird to wear something so revealing and it's taking everything in me to not just go back into that dressing room and change into the other options that I'm sure aren't so revealing.

"No not at all, you look amazing, babe," she says with a smile as she looks me up and down. "You really should be showing off your gorgeous and flawless body more and now is a good time to start."

"Are you absolutely sure I shouldn't go and try on the other options before we decide on this one?" I ask ignoring her compliment.

"Absolutely not," she scoffs offended that I would even consider the other options.

I sigh afterwhile. "Ok you win, but if I buy this you have to let me take a jacket," I say to her.

She sighs. "Fine, if you must."

"I can't believe we already picked out our outfits," I say surprised. "I thought we would be here for ages going through trying on heaps of outfits before we found the perfect one."