When In Paris

Chapter 5

CRYSTAL

If you would have told me 5 years ago that I would see Justin 5 years later, I would've thought you were crazy and never believed you. And how true that was for these past years.

But now as a stare at my reflection in the mirror I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he's back let alone I'm getting ready to see him tonight, which is what I'm doing now.

The last thing I want to do is spend time with him after the terrible day I had but I want to know the truth and finally get the closure I deserve after all these years so I can finally move on.

I still can't believe he thinks this is a date from the note he left me that I couldn't stop staring at for the rest of the day.

Urgh even his note has an effect on me.

I hate that he has this pull on me still after all these years and he just had to come back when I finally wanted to move on from him - like finally move on.

What perfect timing he sure has to finally come back.

Seeing Justin again has opened up a box of feelings that I had put away and vowed to never open again. It's not fully opened, but it for sure opened up a little the morning when I stared into his beautiful blue eyes after so long again. But it will for sure open up even more after spending a whole night him which I'm dreading the more I think about it. 

As much as it was good to finally see him after 5 years. I'm still angry at him for all the heartbreak and pain he put me through and now going to go through with him being back and just like before he didn't give me a warning.

The events of today play in my head over and over again as I still try to wrap my head around the fact that he is back. It just doesn't make sense, like why now did he decide to come back.

This whole day has been a disaster from first losing sleep over him and then actually seeing him at an already bad day at work and now having trouble deciding what I should actually wear tonight. It wouldn't be so damn hard if this was a normal scenario but nothing about my relationship with Justin is normal. It's complicated to sum it into one word.

I mean what do I even wear that's suitable for this scenario, I mean is there even an outfit let alone has anyone ever been in this scenario I'm in right now. I don't think so because who would even want to be in this scenario where they are minutes away from spending a whole night where they find out the truth about why the guy you started having feelings for just up and left without a word for 5 years and now turns back up 5 years.

Yeah, nobody would ever do that. They aren't idiots like me. They would be smart and tell the guy to get lost because nothing they could say would justify the reason of them leaving you without a word and leaving you heartbreak and thinking all these horrible things.

But I guess I'm different and while other people don't need the reason and finally know the truth to move on from them, I do and that's what tonight all about is.

So, who's to say I can't find out about the truth about Justin leaving and getting that closure without looking my best so I go through my closet and try to find something suitable to wear that seems chic casual for my liking but not too dressy that it gives Justin the wrong impression that this is a date because its anything but that – tonight is just a chance for me to finally know the truth and get the proper closure I need to finally move on from him.

After a while I finally settle on a nice little black dress with my high heel boots all paired with a nice black leather jacket.

I then take my hair out of its messy bun and touch my natural curls up with my curler and then fix my makeup from today and apply red lippie on because even though I don't want to give Justin the wrong impression I also want him to see what he is missing out on.