When In Paris

Chapter 37

CRYSTAL

The smile on my face immediately fades and the good mood I was in not too long ago vanishes and all that's left is the anger that I feel as I'm staring at my mother.

I'm not normally an angry person or more so a person that holds grudges but it is the case when people are rude to or hurt my loved ones or in my mother's case don't give them second chances when they deserve them. Which is exactly why I'm angry at her. I'm so angry at her for kicking out Justin and not giving him a second chance but that's not all. Most of all I'm angry at her for also telling me that I'm too naive and forgiving to actually believe Justin when he said everything about his reasoning to why he left. And furthermore that he won't leave again and break my heart like the first time.

I just wish she could trust me when I say Justin had a good reason to leave without a word and more so give him a second chance like I am. That's all I'm asking of her. It's not like I want her to have some big chat with him or even have dinner together. I just want her to give Justin the chance to prove himself wrong to what my mother thinks about him and allow me to do that myself too but instead she had to be all overprotective like she has been and did what she did that night despite me being old enough to make my own decisions. It's not like I just forgave him that easily and forgot all he put me through because I haven't and probably never will but then again I'm definitely not one to stay angry and hold grudges either. And with Justin's reasoning as to why he left without a word actually being a genuine reason. How could I not have given him a second chance.

I just wish she could see that. 

I just wish that she could see that I'm not a child anymore and I'm an adult who can make her own decisions on who I want in my life. So if I want Justin in my life then so be it. 

I'm old enough now to face the consequences on the decisions I make and live with them. 

So if by any chance giving Justin a second chance blows up in my face which is very unlikely but if it happens I can live and deal with the fallout like an adult. I certainly don't need my mother making these decisions for me like she did that night. I just hate what she did that night not only to me but especially to Justin - he didn't deserve what happened at all.

Ever since that night I've been trying to move forward and just focus on me and enjoy my time here with Justin which has been going pretty smoothly up until this very moment where my mother is standing right in front of me. And all I can think about as I look at her is that night.

Everything about that night comes back to me which just makes me more angrier at her. So many questions are running through my head but the main one is why the hell is she here. 

I narrow my eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?" I finally ask my mother, unable to remain in this silence any longer.

As I wait for her response to my question as to why she is here. I can't help but notice how tired and rundown she looks. Her usual blonde hair looks dull and matted like it hasn't been washed which is probably why it's tied up in a high messy bun right now. Her blue eyes that are usually bright are dull and bloodshot which tells me she hasn't been sleeping which the dark circles under her eyes that even the little makeup she has on doesn't cover further confirm. And as much as I'm angry at her I can't help but feel a bit sad over how horrible my mother looks right now - she is my mother after all and no matter how angry I am at her I will always care and love her. And it hurts to look at her like this.

But a shake that feeling off and regain my focus on finding out why she is here at Justin's. So I look her right in the eyes.

"Well?" I ask afterwhile when she doesn't answer.