"Genny. You can do this. You are okay. You are okay. It's just college. It's not the end of the world. You can do this. YOU CAN DO THIS!" I say to myself in the mirror.
Maybe if I say those things to myself long enough, maybe I will actually believe them.
"GENNY! Hurry up! You don't want to be late for your first day of college!" Mom calls for me.
She's right, can't be late.
"What do you think Little?" I ask my black and white cat.
"Do I look 'college ready?''
Little just looks at me like I am being stupid.
He's right.
I am being stupid.
I can do this.
It's just college.
Right?!?
"GENNY!"
"COMING MOM!"
I grab my phone, keys, coffee, purse, backpack, and head to my car.
"Have a great day sweetie!" Mom calls out to me as I walk out of the house and get to my car.
I turn on my music to Ed Sheeran. My favorite singer! Gosh I love him.
"Ring!" Goes my phone and turning off my music.
"Who is calling me at 7:15 in the morning?" I wonder.
"Hello?" I answer my phone.
"ARE YOU IN THE CAR?" Screams my best friend Jordan.
"YES! You don't have to yell!" I scream back.
"ARE YOU SURE?"
"Yes I am sure! I am driving for goodness sake!"
"TAKE A PICTURE!"
"Jay, calm down. I am in the car, driving to college. You don't have to freak out!"
"I HAD to freak out Gen! I can't have you missing our first day of college because you were depressed or in pain!!"
I love Jordan, but she doesn't understand how depressed I am and how much pain in am in due to my fibromylgia.
"Hey, I am NOT missing the first day of college. Okay?"
"OKAY! But I had to make sure Gen."
"I know, I know. You and Mom always have to make sure."
"NO EATING WHICH DRIVING!"
Lately, due to a medicine I am taking, I have been eating everything in sight. Stupid side effects of medicine.
"I WON'T! I have to go bye!"
"REMEMBER OUR AUDITION IS TONIGHT!" Jordan screams as I hang up the phone.
I totally forgot about the audition. We are audition for a role in the school's play Alice in Wonderland. Jordan is hoping for Alice and I am hoping to be The Queen Of Hearts.
***
Now I am in the school parking lot and my hands are shaking.
Deep breathe Genny.
You can do this.
You got this.
I open my car door, grab my coffee, phone, backpack, and purse. Head inside my school for my first day of college.
I look on my schedule and my first class is with Mrs. Flynn and it's English One.
I am at the room on my schedule. It's 7:55 and no one is here. My class starts at 8:00.
YOU ARE READING
Learning To Live Again
SpiritualMeet Genny, Who for the past five years, she has been: depressed, suicidal, in and out of mental hospitals. Also she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar, social anxiety, and fibromyalgia. She hasn't been close with God in years. Now she...
