Learning To Live Again

Chapter 3

"'I am going to kill you! How DARE you turn me in!'

'But--but!

'I am done dealing with you Genny! You can going to PAY FOR THIS!'

"AGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

I wake up from my nightmare feeling exhausted. Lately I have been dreaming about my ex-boyfriend who abused me. It's been horrible dreams.

I roll over and see Little asleep next to me. Aw, he's so cute! I look over at the clock and see it's three in the morning. Thankfully, I don't have school tomorrow. I only go to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Because at the beginning of the year, I was still doing ECT treatments on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So I had to set my schedule around ECT treatments (ECT treatments is when they shock your brain to help with depression and suicidal thoughts). Now I just have to deal with eight o'clock classes.

I get out of bed and fix myself a cup of decaf coffee. I grab a book and read till I get sleepy.

***

"Genny! Time to wake up!"

I look around and see I fall asleep while reading.

"Hey Momma."

I get out of bed (which was hard because Little was on me) very slowly and fix myself a cup of coffee.

"Hey Sweetie. So Jordan is coming over tonight?" Mom asks me while sitting on the love seat and drinking coffee.

"Yes ma'am." I am sitting on the couch drinking coffee.

"How is your pain?" She asks me.

"Pretty bad."

My whole body aces with pain. But mostly my legs and back are KILLING ME!

I know it's not killing me, but it feels like that. Fibromyaglia does that. Mom always tells me: "It will hurt like heck but it won't kill you."

Sometimes, I want it to kill me.

***

For the rest of the day: I do laundry with Mom, clean up my room, and get ready for Jordan to come over. I got us some Kit Kats and Reese Cups. I have my laptop all changed so we can watch our favorite show: "Baby Daddy." I am wearing my pj's (we always wear our pj's).

"Ring!" Goes the doorbell.

I watch into the living room and see: Mom reading on the love seat, Ashten on the couch playing on her phone, and Dad on the computer. It's already seven o'clock but Jordan couldn't come here any earlier because she had to work.

I open the door and see Jordan smiling at me. She is wearing her long straight blonde hair in a high pony tail. She is wearing makeup but it's very natural. She is in jeans, Converse, and t-shirt with her job's logo on it. She works at a coffee shop.

"Hey girl!" I smile at her.

"Hey Jordan!" Mom gets up and hugs her.

"Hey Mrs. Jones!" Jordan hugs her back.

Mom loves Jordan to.

"Ready to watch 'Baby Daddy?'" I ask her as we go back to my room.

My room is very colorful with the walls painted different colors: lime green, dark blue, hot pink, and a dark purple. I have a twin size bed with brown cheetah print sheets. In room I have a piano, desk, and a clean closet (just finished cleaning that, took two days). My room is full of scarfs, yarn, shoes, inspirational pictures all around my room. I love my room!

"Oh yeah!" Jordan smiles as she puts down her bag and sees all the candy.

"Yay! Candy! Thank you Gen!"

"Anytime Jay. So how was your day?" I ask her.

"Busy! School was crazy, we are already having tons of homework and school just started! It's crazy Gen! Then at work, it was so busy. But guess what?"

"What?"

"I saw the roles for the play!"

"Tell me!"

I really hope I got a good role.

"I got Alice and you did get Queen of Hearts!"

"NO WAY!"

We both smile and hug each other.

Yes! We got the roles we wanted!

"This play is going to be AWESOME!" I cheer and Jordan nods her head in agreement.

"So any boys in your life?" I wink at her.

She laughs and says: "Nope! What about you?"

"Nope!"

"But we always have Ben (a character from Baby Daddy)!" Jordan adds.

"But I want Danny (another character)!"

"Okay, you can have Danny and I can have Ben!" She laughs and I turn on my computer.

***

For the next couple of hours: we eat candy and watch Baby Daddy.

Now it's getting around bed time and we are laying in bed talking.

"So how has your depression been?" I ask Jordan.

She has been through a lot. She struggles with depression but she still goes to school and work everyday. She comes from a rough home life with her parents not understanding or talking about depression. In her family, you just pretend you are fine. In my family, we talk about feelings.

"Eh, I have been depressed but I have been making it. How have you been?" She asks me.

"I have been hurting really bad due to fibromyalgia. I have been depressed because I am in so much pain. So I am struggling." I sigh.

"I am sorry girly. When do you see the specialist?"

"Next week."

"You can do this Gen. I believe in you. I love you!" She hugs me.

"You can do this to Jay! I believe and love you so much!"

We hugs and fall asleep.

***
Hey beautiful! I hope you enjoyed this! I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while!

But I am back!❤️

Thank you so much for reading! I love you so much❤️

-xoxo Caty❤️