hold me while you can • jenzie

what a day. i should say.

mackenzie 

[next day at dance]

I open the heavy fire doors to the 'Abby Lee Dance Company' and take my step in. I look at the same old view i see everyday, the door for the dressing room to my side, a curtain where we keep our things on the other side. when i keep walking i see the second studio where we learn our dances sometimes if miss abby isn't teaching the dance or we are praticing. when i walk futher in i see the red steps on one side and the main studio on the front and the main door. 

i slept at my house today so maddie trailed behind me with melissa. they didn't say sorry for their behavior which was predictable. i place my stuff in the curtain and head to the main studio to learn my dance 'bored'. i finished learning it after an hour and i went to the main room to practice my 3 dances. 

[comp day at awards] 

"hello guys and welcome to the awards for tonight!"

everyone sits down. the music stops. and the awards and pressure stop. i need to get first place in everything or I think i am going to lose it. 

[solo awards for teens]

"and the 5th place winner is..... drum roll... is entry number 47 'closer'. come up to receive  your award!

"and 4th place winner is entry number 57, 'impossible'. come up to receive your award please!"

when they said kendall was 4th i was shook. kendall did amazing. wow i wonder what maddie got. maddie did better than kendall obviously but maddie tripped on herself when she did a small ballet hop. i hope i get first to be honest the stakes are high.

"and 3rd place is entry number 12 'where are you now'. come up to receive your award!"

"and 2nd place is entry number 58 'hostage'. come up to receive your award!"

"and first. with a-"

he looks at his paper and seems suprised and then fixes his glasses to see if he was reading wrong again but he wasnt because he had a suprised face on when he looked at the judges. the judges nodded to him and he smiles and puts his glasses back on straight since they were crocked it before. 

i look at abby and she gives me a thumbs up and i calm down. i look over and i see johnny he smiles at me and bug me a big kiss to me and i pretend to catch it and put it on my heart. he giggles

"sorry about that wait. so with first place we have a 300/300 perfect score. 'bored! come up to receive your award."

i gasp. oh my god. i can't believe i got first place with a perfect score. thats never happened in the cometion here because they are so judgy and take a full point off with a slip and to get that here with a solo. wow. and it was me! out of everyone. 

"whats your studio?"

"ABBY LEE DANCE COMPANY!"

I say with a loud, confident voice, and beaming, beautiful smile.

i take my award and stay so they can take a picture of me. 

[trio awards]

"and in second place we have 'shimmer'......"

"and in first place we have 'bellyache' come up to recicve your award!"

"and what company are you young ladies from?"

"ABBY LEE DANCE COMPANY!"

i smile so wide and jump up with my friends (lauren and brynn) and hold hands and skip to the center as we laugh at our sillliness. we collect our award and i give it to lauren. she deserves it. her first week her and already one of the best along with me and brynn. hopefully we win the group dance as well!

[group awards (first place)]

"and in first place we have 'the middle' come up to recicve your award!"

"and what company are you from?"

"ABBY LEE DANCE COMPANY!"

I say for the 3rd time today and seeing from the crowd they are really not happy with the shouting from the girls saying 'abby lee dance comapany' three times but its fine because we will have amazing pyrmaid next week. well for the majority of us. not kendall. she blew her chance of maybe even being on the team. and i can see her tearing up from the corner of my eye. i rub her back softly without anyone knowing but her and she calms down. 

-

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[nighttime]

i brush my and pull my hair with every strand going back into a high bun. i twist the top of my hair and do it lose so it doesn't hurt. i take my hair and hold it with one hand while i take the other to secure my bun into a nice, losen, messy bun. 

i lay on my bed and tuck my covers around my cold body. i only have a sweatshirt on with small shorts that barely go down. i look over to my window side. i sit there and think like always but instead of thinking about life and how miserable it is and how anyone's life is better than mine i though about the one person on my mind. the person that can make me laugh when im down. the only person that can cheer me up. the person that can make me feel loved. the person who i have no chance with. but. i wont give up this time.

i give up a lot. i gave up on my family for gods sake. but im not giving up on this one person who i think is my love. i think i can be with forever but thats what fairytales are all about. im thinking this person can make my life of adventure and help me live life to the fulliest because the fulliest to me right now is winning a competion and making one person proud. miss abby. well after the past couple days. maybe one more. maybe one more..

and that one more person will stay in my heart. forever and always.

[1006 words]

so sorry guys that i haven't posted in a couple days. i just got the fever and than i got alergies because of spring and all that and i haven't been doing much but sleeping because of the medicine so im sorry but ill try and post some more today! (definitly look out for another chapter today)