Little by Little

Little by Little -Ch. 10-

Little by Little                 

Ch. 10

I let go of Reese and let him release me. I looked down and started walking. I didn’t want Jen to see me like this. He has already seen me at my weakest point. I can’t let him think I’m easily broke down by anyone. This was just my guard being put off by a friend.

I walked passed Jen, not meeting his eyes.

He grabbed my forearm. I stopped walking. I didn’t look at him so I kept my head down and begged Reese to disappear. I didn’t want Reese to hear the ill words Jen would say to me. I couldn’t let him see that. I couldn’t let Reese see that my weakest point was when Jen was around.

“Don’t cry, Park.” Jen said.

“It’s none of your business.” I wiped my tears away with my other hand. I pulled back my arm and kept walking.

You already ruined my life once, I thought.

I kept walking. I didn’t care if Reese followed me or not. I just didn’t want anyone to see me cry right now. It was a good thing I had my bag with me. I continued to walk away from the school. I need to go to the park for awhile. I could stay there and calm down.

I kept walking but the tears kept falling, even though I tried my best to stop them. I arrived at the park and looked around to see if there was anyone. There was someone people from school. They looked at me but didn’t do anything and went back to their business.

I went to the swing and sat on it. I looked up at the bright sky and wondered through my mind. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t control myself anymore. My emotions were controlling and ruining my life. That’s all emotions ever did. What could you do to make them stop? I would like to know.

I swung back and forth and wondered what sort of help I should receive.

I felt my phone vibrate. I brought it out of my pocket. I looked at it and it was Nicolette. I opened the message.

Where r u? Reese&Jen are looking for u. they seem worried :/ what happened?

I put away my phone and turned it off. I let my head fall down and let myself cry. That’s all I wanted to do. Those words had hurt me. I couldn’t believe I said those words. I had a bunch of things to smile about but they didn’t comfort me in any way. Nothing comforted me, whether it was a person or not.

I put my hands over my mouth to keep me from screaming my lungs off. I have been suffering a lot. I couldn’t take the pain anymore.

I looked up to the sky again, with my eyes filled with tears. I wondered if there was such a thing called simple happiness. If there was, I wanted that. I wanted it so bad.

I had a thought.

I got up from the swing. I started walking across the playground. I remembered when I was little, Dad took me to eat ice cream every time I started to cry when I got hurt. I looked for the nearest ice cream shop.

I saw Baskin Robbins and instantly walked in there. There was a lady working. I ordered the largest cup full of Wild N’ Reckless. I paid for it and took the first spoonful in my mouth.

The flavor exploded in my mouth. I finally felt the tears dry up and the corners of my mouth lifted up. This taste had me reminded of how my dad was and why he liked this kind of flavor. For me, it was always the strawberry flavored ones at any ice cream store.

I had finished the piece of ice cream. I looked at the time. It was almost time for lunch to start. I had been out for a long time. I knew so well in my heart that I didn’t skip school. Aunt would want an explanation tonight. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t want anyone to see me cry today. I had to come up with some sort of explanation.