Love Life Yoonseok

Pretend 008

Jung Hoseok Point of View
Yoongi was the last person I would expect to be here. I thought he would leave me to run away like the rest of them. I guess he isn't like the rest of them... My face turned a deep red when he walked out into the light. I hope he didn't hear anything. "How much did you he..hear?" I can't stop crying. I don't know when I will stop crying. My happy face and smile has built a wall around this sea of tears and now that my smile is off the wall is broken. "I uhh heard everything." My face turned a deeper red if that was even possible. I can't look at him anymore or I will cry even more. I stare off into the lights of busy Daegu around us. Even though it is 9:45 pm Daegu is still wide awake. The soft breeze started to pick up and I started to shake. My clothes are soaked because of my salty tears and the wind isn't helping the situation. I didn't bring any extra clothes. Why would I? I couldn't stop shaking until I felt a huge amount of warmth surround me. I heard a whisper in my ear that made my whole spine shiver. "I am not really good at these things but I will try for you." Sure it doesn't sound like much but to me it does. The one person who doesn't give physical contact gives it to you without asking. Wouldn't you be a little touched by that? He pulled me into a tight embrace. That embrace did things to me. It made my heart feel funny, provided me tremendous amounts of warmth, and made me feel calm. But I must prepare for us to break apart. I know this is only so I don't feel as embarrassed. He is going to leave me after I feel better. Just like how everybody treated me back in Gwanju. They would take advantage of me and then dump me right after. I have never been in a real relationship before. The closest I have gotten was Taehyung but even he left me for Jungkook. Sure Yoongi and I are going to get married but it isn't a real marriage. Our marriage is arranged and not found through real love. He still loves Jimin anyway so this marriage is just him obeying his parent's orders. His heart does not agree to what his brain is thinking. Just once though, that I wish somebody would say something that comes from the heart and not the brain to me. All somebody has said comes from their own sympathy towards me. I know they feel bad for me but I also know that they don't truly care. They put on a mask that shows that they are a nice person helping a broken child but if you look deep into their eyes you can tell that a person is putting on a fake act. We sat in each other's embrace for a while until I decided to ask a question that has been dying to get out. "Can we be friends?" Such a simple question but the most important question to me. Why did I have to ask that though? I already know he is going to say no. Why would he say yes to a weak person like me? "Sure. I enjoy having you as company." Wait what? Did he just say we are friends? I finally have a friend that I met on my own. Even though Taehyung is my best friend he was introduced to me by my mother. Sure I appreciate her for introducing me to the one person that I can be myself around  but I think I could have found a best friend by myself without having charity being handed to me. He didn't stop there though and this is where my whole body went to a blank and the only thing I could process was my own beating heart. "I will be your friend from here on out and whatever is next to come. Also, you do not have to pretend to be all happy in front of me. We all have to stop our mouths from talking for a while and let our eyes take over the conversation. I won't judge you if you get all sad or mad. That is you being you. You are human. Plus it would get all creepy if you were constantly happy all the time. Just remember that. I am always here for you." My whole body stopped. Did he just say that? I can't believe this. I don't know what I am feeling but it feels so great. It feels like....it feels like....the feeling of not having to pretend anymore.