Love Life Yoonseok

"Breaking." 010

Min Yoongi Point of View
The letter is about lies. Yes I know that but I don't want to scare him off. Lies would be too strong of a title. What should I do then? Maybe my title could resemble something he said. What was the one thing he said that stood out to me? Think Yoongi Think You can't fix something as broken as me. That's it. He kept saying he was too broken to be fixed. What could I take from that sentence for my title though? I could call my letter "Fixing you." But that could sound like I want to do something with him in an inappropriate way and that is not how I want to sound. I could do "You are together." But that just sounds weird. I mean yeah he is one piece obviously Yoongi. Hmm...what to do? Maybe broken could work. How should I state broken though? "You aren't broken." That sounds like I don't care about him that much, like I am just stating the obvious with no heart. Hmm what can I relate to that goes around Broken? Thinks of what he felt seeing Jimin with another boy. He is breaking my heart. That is it! "Breaking." That sounds like I am not stating the obvious but also foreshadowing what is happening in that moment. Well grabbing my pen I let my hand move and eventually a letter was appearing on the paper...
Dear my sunshine, my hope, Hobi,
Breaking. I heard you. I know you are breaking. I am sorry for intruding your person space. I heard your sobs and was immediately drawn to find out who you were. When I heard my name I was shocked. I am sorry for knowing that you were embarrassed because of me. I don't know why I only nodded to you back at my home. I knew what to say deep inside me but my brain nor my mouth would function properly. I wanted to tell you that I understood you. I understand you. I embarrass myself all the time. I just don't let you see it. I turn a bright red when I say things to you that aren't that intelligent. I am very similar to you. Sure I don't let people see this side of me because I just hide it. I am too afraid to find out what people think of me when they see I am human just like them. I am a coward hiding from my own faults. We are very similar. I am broken just like you. I want things to be different. Yet everyday I am met with reality. When you hugged me that time when I was crying from seeing Jimin that was the first time somebody has given me physical contact. Even my parents didn't give me that comforting contact. I notice people are afraid of me. I don't want that. I want people to have the courage to talk to me. I promise I am nicer than what I let on. You had the courage to hug me. You had the courage to do something that nobody has done. You had the courage to hug me even though we barely knew each other. You had the courage to go near me even though you knew I did not like this arranged marriage. You had the courage. You are the one with the real bravery. Not me. I feel so bad for that. I didn't have the strength to tell you that you did not embarrass yourself. You didn't, in fact it was quite the opposite I thought it was quite nice that somebody can act human around me. I am the broken one not you. You can still smile everyday with the thoughts of hurting haunts you every single second. I can not do that. I act bland all the time because I have those thoughts and can not hide them. Your smile. You were blessed with such a beautiful smile. I envy you. I wish I had your smile. Yet here I am with the same old straight face. You being broken is the farthest thing of what I think when I first hear your name. You are the light at the end of the tunnel, rainbow at the end of a rainstorm, the sunshine after the dark gray clouds. That is what you are to me. My sunshine. You will always be my sunshine because you brighten up my day. You are also my hope. You give me hope. Whenever you smile it tells me there is still hope that I will not be broken forever. Thank you Hobi for showing me all of these things.  You may not trust me now and I understand that. But I hope you will understand me eventually because I will always understand you. If you think I am lying while writing this I will do anything for you to show you that I am not. I care for you Hobi and always will.
Sincerely,
Your broken friend Suga. (I will be sweet to you like sugar.)
I am done. That letter wrote itself. I don't know how I wrote those words. I would have never done this for anybody else. So why is Hobi different? Whatever. I just hope he accepts my letter. Sealed with a sun I went over to his house and knocked on his door.*Knock Knock* After I knocked on the door I waited patiently for him to answer. "He..Hello Yoongi I wasn't expecting you to be here. It is 4:00 am in the morning." "I am sorry Hobi but this is way too important to wait until the morning. I am so sorry for earlier so I wrote you this." "What is this?" "Open it and you will see." "Okay. The title..." "Yes I know." "It is breaking. Why would you write something for me when I already know the topic?" "Open it up and read the letter you might be surprised on what I actually say." "Okay Yoongi. Here goes nothing. Dear..."