i know the future gets better but it hurts right now

52 4 2

by huxible

by huxible

i think about my friends,
and i think about their pain.

the way their hands shake
as they stumble in the rain.

the way they breathe
when they're venting to me.

i see my friends,
and i see their tear stains,
and their broken claims
on why they haven't worn a t-shirt in ages.

i see my friends,
and i see my past,
my present,
my future,
and my love.

i see my friends,
and i see myself.
i see how i can't save them,
and how i wish i could.
i see them,
and i hope they know i do,
because they are so bright.

beautiful.

i think about my friends,
and i think about what i wish i was.

a saviour,
a warmth,
an angel,
a godsend,
a help,
a blessing,
a hug,
a relief to see,
a trusting smile,
a pair of hands that hold them tight

i think about myself,
and i think about what i am not,
and what i cannot be
or do.

i think
about
pain.

i think about pain.

i need to stop thinking about pain.

i think about pain.

i think about my friends.

i think about myself.

why am i crying?

it gets harder to keep my hands still.

i think about myself.

i think about pain.
i think about pain.
pain.
pain.
pain.
pain.
it hurts.

it hurts.

i'm thinking about myself.

it hurts.

i wish i could be what i am not,
and what i cannot be,
or do.

i think about pain.