Gotta Love Life

"Trapping"

(Fc: yo its Cory from the future here to let you know that in this chapter "trapping" that there is going to be a lot of unnecessary cussing, inappropriate content, and a bunch of other stuff you should obviously be aware of by now. See ya!)
Well this is going to be tough, how the hell are we going to capture that dick punching bastard...wait a minute. I think I have an idea! But if we're gonna make this plan work we're gonna need to get that hot babe on our side.
JEFFERY: Uggh why do I have to help a desperate horny teenager like you...
CODY: Well we can always toss your ass in the trash with all the other dumpster babies my dad didn't want.
JEFFERY: If that's an option then why are you here?
CODY: My mom wouldn't let his bitch ass toss me out.
JEFFEEY: GOD DAMN, who's your mom?!
CODY: A woman that makes me cry every time I see her.
JEFFERY: (I wanna ask why but I'm too scared to...)
This plan is gonna be hard to pull off but I know we can do this!
JEFFERY: Can I have some food?
CODY: (smiles) fuck no.
Anyway we might need one more person and I think I know just the guy.😏
(15 minutes later)
(I think this might work...)
CODY: Hello random old lady...

DAGGER: AAAaaahh!!

JEFFERY: Ah! FUCK! That hurts!

DAGGER: Hmm this doesn't sound like old lady...

CODY: Heya neighbor, thats not an old lady but how about helping take care of a guy who plans to get rid of all old ladies?

DAGGER:.... Go on.

And so with a little bit of stretching I told dagger about the Cockman, and got him to lend us his aid in this battle. Now all we have to do is find a way to get inside that girl's house... but how...

JEFFERY: Umm, why not go talk to her?

CODY: I mean I didn't think talking to that delectable, juicy piece of cake was an option.

JEFFERY: I like food but what you just said just really upset my stomach...

CODY: Fuck off! Now lets get going while there is still light out in this weird city.

(12 minutes later)

Ok this is the moment of Truth, the final destination, the wall of....

JEFFREY: HURRY UP!

Welp....here goes nothing. (knocks on door)

4 minutes later...

Cute girl: Oh its's you again, what are you doin at my house in the middle of the night...

Cody: Well I came here to help protect you from a dangerous cock man and...

Cute girl: WAIT! How do you know about that?! He told you didn't he?! It's all a lie!

Cody:....Um what in rapenation are you talking about.....

Cute girl: ....So what are you talking about?

Cody: Oh well to put it simply theres a sneaky bastard running around punching guys in the dick and rubbing his fealthy hands on hot babes like you.

Cute girl:..Makes sense...
Cody: Anyway can we come in?
Cute girl: We?
Jeffery: Down here!
*looks down*
Cute girl: EEWWW WHAT IS IT?!
Jeffery: A really big frog who will turn into a prince after receiving a below the belt kis...
Cody: Fuccck off jeffery!
(I swear if this giant snot rag ruins my chances with this girl I'm throwing his ass into cock mans arms! )
Cody: Just ignore the pervy vomit fairy, he's here to help us capture that nasty fiend. So if you don't mind we're just gonna make ourselves at home.
Cute girl: Umm...
Dagger: So when do I get to tackle this big old lady?
Cute girl: 😐
Jeffery: 😐
Cody: ....It would have been so much better if you stayed quiet like you been doing.😑
And so we began to set up our homemade trap inside her house, luckily her mom was out doing late night gambling so we had the house to ourselves....wait to ourselves....DAMN if only it was just me and her I could have....I mean I wouldn't have tried anything at a-.... who am I kidding I would have tried to smash but anyway we waited for what seemed like hours after we finished setting up and then I realized the scent of fresh baked cookies was in the air. Of course Jeffery's fat ass noticed immediately and instantly ran towards it which led to a back window in the kitchen that had a shadowy figure crawling in. Without hesitation I yelled "Now Jeffery!" And with that Jeffery ran over there throwing several different colored sheets while that cute girl ran around tying rope around him to blind and limit him forming what it appears to look like a raggedy dress.  That's when I signaled dagger by shouting "OLD LADY!" Suddenly with a burst of energy dagger chargers from the darkness and slams the villainess fiend out the window! "We won" I said with great passion but that joy was short lived as I heard dagger say with great disappointment " uhhh guys this person isn't old or a lady" but knowing that it was never supposed to be I remained calmed and walked over to look at what we captured and to my surprise I recognized the face and bam it hit me! It was the same little brat that was trying
to sell me cookies the other day! Angrily I cried "what in cookie hell are you doing here?!"
Weird kid: Ow you never heard of fucking delivery you asshole!
Cody: Wait what, HAVE YOU BEEN SNEAKING IN OUR HOUSES PUNCHING US IN THE DICK?!
Weird kid: What? No! That's weird!
Jeffery: Yea it's not him but he does resemble the venomous cock man🤔
Weird kid: That's cause I'm his son.
Cody: Wait what...
Cock Man: Like he said he's my son😈
Jeffery: Fuucck!!!
Dagger: What in tarnation!!
Cute girl: Ewwww!!!
(Fc: heya guys it's future Cody here back with another message. As you can see we're all pretty much fucked and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. Unless we stand against him as a team!....buuuttt that didn't happen.)
Cody: Fuck....
So we all got punched in the dick.... but luckily he didn't go for.... for.... FUCK! Why I do I still not know her name?! Damn it Frozen Talent quit being fucking lazy! Anyway Cock Man left her alone for some reason and on top of that her mom never came home last night so who knows what happened to her.