Cry Cut Hide Repeat [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 18

Harry POV

I took a deep breath and smelled the fresh air. It felt like it had been forever since I was outside.

I'd been on hardcore suicide watch for 2 weeks after my accident, and since getting Nikki Louis was keeping me under constant supervision like a four year old. I tried to tell Liam that I actually didn't try to commit suicide, yes, I was cutting, but the vertical slash was accidental.

I was glad to be alive.

Thoughts like that were keeping me from cutting. I came so close to actually dying, that I knew I didn't want to. There were definitely times when a rubber band was necessary, especially when walking with Nikki got frustrating. Having and trusting a guide dog is a lot harder than it looks. But, gladly, the little snap of the elastic on my wrist was enough to remind me of the pain of my accident. That provided me with enough to move on.

Thankfully, today was one of my better days, and as I relyed on Nikki to guide me down the street, life was great. Yeah, I couldn't see, and sure, I was in love with my male best friend, but I didn't even care at all. Everything was in place as I inhaled and exhaled.

Nikki really was an excellent dog, he knew what he was doing. Sometimes things distracted him, he was still young, but I didn't mind.

There was definitely something to distract him today.

I used the harness to nudge him in the direction of a park. He led me on silent but sturdy paws, and I found I was adjusting well to walking with him. Of course, the times when I wanted to pick something up and had to get Louis to hand it to me, I wanted to rip my hair out. I was allowed to manouver around our house without Nikki, but it was difficult. I knew it was wearing Louis out, but he seemed to not mind.

I've noticed since their break-up that he's so much closer to me again. It's nice, but its a pain in the ass when you're trying to get over someone. He feels the need to help me with everything!

It's almost like he knows the reason I cut. He wasn't even supposed to know I cut. The boys must have told him, because as far as what doctors told him, I was only in the hospital because they were hoping my sight would return. He didn't know I was on suicide watch.

Louis had fallen asleep this afternoon, exhausted from running around helping me. I took that as my chance to harness up Nikki and get some fresh air, and now here I was, literally blindly chasing my dog wherever he was pulling me.

The fun part? He wasn't pulling me where I wanted to go, and he was pulling hard. I could hear his shallow breaths as the collar pulled his neck. I wanted desperately to let go, but his harness was also connected to my arm, and I couldn't see to quickly undo it. So, I ran as fast as I could to pull the least amount and prayed silently that Nikki wouldn't run me into anything.

He didn't, and I thanked the high heavens when he came to a haulting stop.

"Down Girl!!" I heard a lady say.

"Nikki!" I warned, afraid he was jumping up on the poor lady, and that she had mistaken him for a girl.

Then I heard two sets of barks and realized that he had been chasing another dog.

A female.

"Bonnie!! I said down!!" The voice said again.

The barking silenced and was replaced with sniffing.

"Good Bonnie, you can smell the other doggy, but don't attack him," she said again.

Her voice was smooth, she sounded young, probably around my age. She didn't have a british accent, which was a rare thing to hear around here. I couldn't place her accent.