It becomes addictive.
A habitual process that overtakes every aspect of your mind.
A constant push of "less" or "more.
An incessant drumming "you're too" or "you're not".
It's possessive and clutches you tight enough that you stop growing and begin shrinking, but it's not a problem. Simply because the melodious voice inside says so.
The blackened vision becomes more frequent, wavering every time you stand.
Sleeping becomes difficult, almost impossible.
Your heart begins beating to strange timing, one your body has never heard before.
The voice in your head isn't enough, but you know that's not it...
No, it isn't the voice,
it's you that's not enough...
it's you.
You're not enough, but too much all at once.
The soft sounds inside of your head continue to talk, and you continue to listen, because what it's telling you... it couldn't hurt anymore than hating yourself.
So that's the solution, your salvation, a promising pact with a nonentity rooted inside your brain.
let's hurt instead.
