Forgetting Mark Tuan [Got7 Fanfiction] Book II: Inlove with Mark Tuan

Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Three days of sleepless nights. Three days of just thinking about Mark and Cynthia Eonnie. Days of just regretting as to why I let go of him without even thinking clearly.

"What do you want to watch?"

I was taken aback when I heard someone spoke. As I looked on the side, I was greeted by Jackon who has a wide smile on his face.

Guilt started to build in my system and I really hate myself for it. I hate how indecisive I was about my feelings. It's okay if I am the only one who's hurting but hurting Jackon who did nothing but to make me happy is clearly not okay.

Why does it have to be Mark? Why does my heart so stubborn? Why does love so selfish?

Why do we have to love the person who loves someone else that is not us and ignore that one person who value us so much?

"Jackson..." I looked down trying to think about what to say.

I didnt know that he's been speaking for too long because I am too preoccupied with my own thoughts and I feel so sorry for it.

"Can we go watch some other time?" I said in a small voice.

I dont want to go with him... not when there's another person running on my mind. I dont think he deserves that.

A lot of days has passed but I still doesnt want to accept the fact that I havent moved on because I dont want to get hurt anymore especially I dont want Jackson to be in pain.

I want to think that I am just overwhelmed by the thoughts of Mark and I ending up together because he's the very first man that I love. I want to think that I am just frustrated nothing more, nothing less.

"You're not feeling well?" He worriedly asked.

I bit my lower lip and bobbed my head completely lying to him.

He immediately put his hands on my forehead then to my neck checking if I have a fever. I put down his hands and let out a small smile to him.

He looked at me with confusion in his eyes. Jackson is not dumb. I know that he knows something was up. I am never like this with him before, I used to be so attentive with whatever he says.

"Are you okay?" Jackson said very concerned.

I bit the insides of my cheeks and looked down as a tear fell down. I immediately wiped it with my own eyes afraid that he will see it but to no avail my tears just keeps on streaming down my face.

Why does it still hurts so much?

It hurts to love someone who doesnt love you but the pain is doubled when you think about hurting someone who did nothing but to love you.

I pulled Jackson into a thight hug and buried my face on the crook of his neck. My arms are encircled on his waist while I am still sobbing. I let out a muffled sound and as if someone's stabbing me especially when he started to comfort me by caressing my back.

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Jackson. Im sorry."

He frozed for a moment as if he knows why I am sorry but he shrugged it all of and gave me a thight hug giving me a kiss on my temples.

"You know I love you, right? It's all okay, baby. Stop crying." He said almost begging me to stop.

I put both of my hands on his nape and buried my face on his neck even more. He pulled away from the hug to see my face and cupped my cheeks while looking at me intently.

I want to stop crying but it just keeps of falling especially with his eyes so concerned. Why? He should be pissed at me.

"Stop crying, please. Im okay." He said as he wiped my tears using his thumb.