Forgetting Mark Tuan [Got7 Fanfiction] Book II: Inlove with Mark Tuan

Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

I sighed as I swayed my feet trying to relieve some stress. Here I am, on the rooftop of our building feeling the wind blows wishing that it will make all the unecessary thoughts go away.

Everytime that I think about why im being like this, it honestly makes me feel ridiculous. Why the hell am I hurting so much? It's not like someone I love died though. It is just me not being able to express my feelings to someone.

Jackson keeps on calling me last night, I didnt answer it. I told him that we can just text and he doesnt need to call. I can text him but I dont think that I want to hear his voice, not in this kind of state.

What makes me feel horrible is that Jackson still keeps on comforting me and making me feel special even though he knows what I feel already. I lead him on. I made him think that he's the one I like because that's what I think too!

Is this also the same feelings that Mark felt when he's with me?

He thought that he loves me when in fact he still loves Cynthia Eonnie.

You're not inlove with the person, you're inlove with the thought of being finally loved back. That's why when your heart flatters, you'll immediately assume that you're inlove.

I picked up my phone and called my mother. I am glad that she answered the phone immediately.

"Hello, sweetheart?"

I let out a faint smile when I heard my mother's soothing voice.

Her voice will always be my favorite. My mother is like a home to me, always ready ti shelter me when I am sad and feeling lonely.

"Are you coming here for my concert, Ma?" I asked.

I am hope that she can come here though. I want to see her already. I missed her so much and for once she needs to see her daughter onstage performing!

"I will. Dont worrry. I am excited to see you and the girls."

I can hear the excitement in her voice. The girls havent seen her but they always greet her when we are having a videochat and the girl sometimes call her to check up on her which my mother really loves.

"Are you fine, Mom?" I asked.

She's alone and she's far away from me. The thought of her getting sick and having a hard time alone makes my stomach turns upside down.

"Of course." She said smiling at me.

I looked at the woman who suddenly approached her giving her one folder while explaining some things that I didnt hear.

"Sorry, Lau. I have to go." She said looking so dissapointed.

"Okay, Mom. Dont stress yourself too much. Love you!"

"Okay, sweetheart. I love you too."

I looked at my phone when we ended the call already. I exhaled and looked down as sadness took over me again.

There are times like this. Times when I feel like I am not happy anymore. Times when it feels so tiring but you doesnt want to stop because you know that this is what you want in the first place.

I smirked as I remember all the things that I've done before as an Ahgase.

I always save my allowance to buy some kpop merchandise. I have Got7's albums because I chose to save money than to eat. Yes, I am crazy for them.

Im a fan. I cant help but to bash other idols before for doing this and that but I realized that doing that is not good. Now that I am an idol, I know how terrible it is to see hate comments on social media accounts.