Forgetting Mark Tuan [Got7 Fanfiction] Book II: Inlove with Mark Tuan

Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Three

I wiped my tears away as memories of Cynthia Eonnie flashed through my mind.

My mother just got here and she immediately went to the funeral hall to see Cynthia Eonnie. She's crying so much with regret that she didnt get the chance to hug her thight.

She made me come home in our dorm to get some rest and she told me that she'll stay there. I refused, though.

My mother doesnt want to take no as an answer that's why she talked to Mark and told me to come with me for the both of us to get some rest.

I dont even know that it's been two days since she passed away but here I am. The wound is still fresh, I am still bleeding. I dont even know if I ate or if I got some sleep, I just dont care with all the things that is happening. I am too busy mourning and crying my heart out.

I looked at Mark who's just staring at nothing in particular with a blank expression on his face. He's hurt. He's in great pain. I know that Cynthia Eonnie's death is a big blow to him. She's his first love and his best friend.

He let out a deep sigh and wiped the unshed tears as he looked at me with a faint smile.

That smile makes me want to cry even more. I want to tell someone how hurt I am. I want to tell someone how I am regretting so much. I want to tell someone how broke I am but I just cant do it because I cant even put it into words because it hurts so damn much.

"Do.. you.. do.." He looked up as he had a hard time letting out his words because of the unshed tears, "Do you want to eat?" He asked.

I looked down and whimpered as tears started to stream down my face. Why am I so fucking weak for goodness' sake? Why do I have to cry so much? Why cant I stop it?

Every corner in this dorm and every caring word just keeps on reminding me of her.

I looked at the floor and the kitchen. I can even see a glimpse of my room from here and it made me roll my eyes. I went inside my room and tried to fix the bed.

I am crying while recklessly folding the used comforter but I just cant get it right because my hands are shaking so much because of too much crying.

"Ah! Why cant this.. goodness.. Why?"

I throw the pillow and the comforter on the wall and screamed on the top of my lungs while feeling all the pain and anger all mixed up inside my system.

I scanned my room and let out an exasperated sigh.

In the left corner of my room there's a pile of clothes there, my bed is all messed up, my things are scattered everywhere and the sink has a lot of dirty plates. This dorm is a fucking mess without Cynthia Eonnie.

"We are so damn useless." I said as my voice cracked.

We know how important Cynthia Eonnie is but this is the first time that I realized how useless we are without her.

She's tired all day from all the practicing and task that PD-nim assigned her to do and once we got home instead of just taking a rest. She will clean the house even our rooms, wash the dishes, fold our clothes and arrange our fucking bed. Morning came, tired or not, sleepy or not, sick or not she will get up early to prepare our breakfast.

She did all of those things for us and we all have to do one thing, just damn one thing... and we failed.

Maybe we failed to make her feel loved. I will forever wish for the time to go back and tell her the things that I wanted her to know. I want her to feel at ease and make her remember all the good things that she has right now.