Start Over

9 // The Only Reason

Ashton -

"We have to! My mums making me move to Miami too!"

That one sentence can break anyone's hearts into a thousand pieces. The way it rolled off her tongue like it never meant a thing made it worse.

"You- you can't be serious.." To think, the time I thought was right to maintain a forever turned out to be wrong.

"You think I want this? Cause I don't.." She got up and started walking away. "And I do? Shaniya you can't do this.." She stopped and spun around looking at me.

"You really think I want to?, do you really think I asked my mum to do this to me?! Cause I didn't. Ashton I love you. And only you. I've dreamed of the day we say "I do", I never wanted this to happen..," she quickly wiped a tear from her face. "But its not my choice.. I'm only 17, in 6 months, I'll be 18.. I'll be back for you.."

"I'll be back for you."

"I can't guarantee I'll be here waiting.." It barely came out as a whisper.

She looked at me with pain in her bright blue eyes. "So what you're saying is, you want me to wait for you, but you can't wait for me,?" Her hands were shaking and tears stained her cheeks as her eyes were red and puffy.

"I'm just- look its not-" "just save it.. Clearly I was wrong.. Goodbye Ash.." She leaned in and kissed my cheek and just like that she was gone.

The short walk back to my house was the loneliest walk I've ever experienced. I walked up to my room ignoring every word anyone's saying to me.

I seen Jaylynn huddled up in a corner in her room. She must know too. "Jay," I whisper as I push the door open. "She told you?" I nodded.

Shaniya -

I've never felt my chest fall to my stomach so fast. "Goodbye Ash." And with that I left. I didn't bother to look back. They always say, when you run, never look back. But I wasn't running, I wasn't trying to leave.. I just wasn't trying to be there either.

I opened my door and went to my room grabbing my cigarettes. I grabbed a bottle of Vodka my mum had stashed in her room and walked outside sitting on the porch.

Mascara and eyeliner covered my cheeks as tears covered my eyes. I let the alcohol slowly glide down the back of my throat leaving a burning sensation.

Drink after drink, hit after hit.

Next to Ashton, this was the biggest habit I couldn't break. As I reached the end of the bottle I ran out of my cigarettes too. I threw the bottle leaving it broken into a thousand pieces on the concrete driveway, just like my heart.

•

I finished packing my room only leaving a few pairs of clothes, a few boxes in my closet and my bed. My flight is Saturday. Its Thursday. Its been 3 days since I've talked to Ashton. I went a month.. Another 6 won't hurt.. Maybe longer..

I turned my phone off and laid back on my bed as tears fell from my eyes, as usual. There was a faint knock on my door.

Ashton -

Its been 3 days. 3 days too long. She has one full day left here, and I couldn't let her leave hating me. I was contemplating on going to her house.

Eventually I found my feet pulling myself across the yard to her door. I decided to let myself in, and walk to her room.

I didn't know whether I should run to her or from her. I took a deep breath in as I brought my hand up to her door, slightly knocking. When she opened the door she quickly shut it in my face.