teenage dirtbag + 「 2jae 」

thirty three

the weekend was hell.

jinyoung hadn't heard from jaebum at all, and jackson had only texted him once about the chem homework, but that was it. dead silence.

it felt like it would never end, jinyoung kept trying to distract himself from what happened, distract himself from the party, but he couldn't.

when he played xbox, when he watched a sitcom, it didn't help. it would stop him from thinking for a while, but in the end the pictures of jaebum's hurt look, mark's bloody nose, youngjae's tears, they all flashed back into his mind and reminded him of everything.
and whenever that happened, jinyoung couldn't help but feel this weird stinging feeling in his chest.
a feeling that made him want to scream and punch someone (mostly himself), a feeling that he hated so much he never wanted to feel it again.

guilt.

yes, he felt guilty. he was guilty. this entire mess, the feelings and the lies, all of this was his fault. and he only now realized how serious it was and that he actually hurt people for egoistic reasons. he treated them like dirt, like this was some kind of silly game.

jinyoung was disgusted by himself, he couldn't stand to look into the mirror. he was full of self hatred and he needed to fix this. he needed to fix everything.

what he needed the most was for his best friend to forgive him.

the weekend was hell, but monday surely wasn't much better.

jaebum didn't show up at all, neither did youngjae. fair enough, jinyoung thought, he didn't want to come to school either.

1 new message

youngjae: the old playground next to the church. 4pm.

+++

HI

this is poorly written but i wanted to update u and it's jinyoung's pov which is NICE that hasn't happened before in 33 chapters Damn Boi

also yes jinyoung is a poop face but he's developing a heart and discovering mundane feelings DONT HATE MY BEB TOO MUCH

ALSO THE ALBUM SPOILERJSJSHSHSVSDV W I G