Monster {A.B}

Peircing Blue

I was on the school bus looking out the window. I'm not ready to go back to school, it's hell for me now. Last year I would get bullied 24/7 just because I'm different, just because im not a slut and give guys blow jobs other than the popular bitches. ANYWAY, I don't want to go. I know for a fact they will start shit. I self harm because of it. I want to get better, I just seem not to put any effort to it. And it sucks. Like I want to socialize, but I want to be alone. Lyli, my best friend tells me I need to go out more. But I don't want to. I like being in my room, but then she goes on about 'That's why ur depressed' psh whatever. I can do things myself but that's probably why I'm single, but then again I wouldn't know other people's pain of being single because I have never dated. I haven't even had my first kiss. Crazy right?? I'm 17, I'm in my senior year. And soon I'll be out of here by june. My thoughts were interrupted by the screeching sound of tires stopping. I groan and get off the bus walking inside to the crowed school. I head to the office scooting myself in there getting my schedule. Lets see what classes I have.

1st hour: Art
Breakfast
2nd hour: history
3rd hour: science (biology)
4th hour: free hour
Lunch
5th hour: algebra
6th hour: creative writing
7th hour: English

Well fuck.... Guess who is in my art class? Juliet.... She and her 'group' bullied me the most last year. Kms man, kms. She always hated me for some reason, calling me ugly, cutter, emo slut, fat, anything , you name it.

She Is half the reason I cut. But she isn't all of it. My mom, well she is suffering from depression, she lost her dad(my grandpa) and now she is dating this Bimbo Micah. I hate him, he has put us through shit over the years and she won't leave him. My dad is in prison for violation of probation and almost murder. I will get in details later. My brother is in L.A. now, and I was close to him the most. So I miss him. My sister is living with her boyfriend even tho I'm older than her. But knowing my parents, they don't care. My mom and him need rehab but they won't go and I'm tired of being treated like shit. Well I need to get to class. I walk to my first hour wondering if lyli and Justin will be in there. Justin is the other weirdo i hang out with. I talk to him sometimes I talk to him but he hangs out with that Chris guy. I don't want to talk about him. He just gives me the creeps...... I walk in and what do you know Justin and Chris. But no lyli. Ugh. She better be at breakfast. I walk and Justin spots me and waves his hand for me to sit by him and Chris at one of the round tables. I gulp and walk over, Chris smirks at me as i sit down by Justin and Chris is across us. I look away and I look at Justin who has thrown himself at me. "LEXI!!!!! I MISSED U GURL!!!!" I cough and pull him off "j-justin aiiirrrr!" Justin realeses me with a small laugh "sorry." I shake it off and hug him back, "so how was your summer?" Idk Horrible, miserable, tourmenting. I smile at him and shrug " it was okay, not really entertaining but okay, you?" I ask, his eyes lit up and he clasps his hands together "AWESOME!! Me and Josh went on dates, he is so romantic!" Oh did I forget to mention Justin is gay and he is dating the most popular guy. It's cute actually, a emo and a popular dating, cute!

I smile and nod. Mrs. Chesser my art teacher walks in and writes down are drawing prompt. "Okay today we will be working on a project, choose your partners wisely, we are doing plaster mask." I groan. We did this last year and justin is obviously going to pick Chris and Justin is the only one in this room I like. Damn it. I sigh as I see Justin and Chris go to another table to discuss there project. I rest my head on my hand tapping on the table. "You think to much." I raised my head as a deep voice has spoke by me. Maybe he wasn't taking to me. So I go back to what I was doing not even looking around to see who said that. " I was talking to you." I look up and see the brightest blue eyes stare into mine. I raised up and furrow my eye brows. "Umm me?" I ask pointing at me. The boy sighs and shakes his head " yes you. I'm your art partner for the year, I'm new, they assigned me to you." He says taking a seat across me. He grabs a notebook out and looks at the drawing prompt. I look at him studying his features. Pale, sharp jaw line, plump, pink lips, a lip and nose piercing, tall, built but slim. He does have nice musclear arms and tattoos. "Like what you see?" I snap out of my thoughts and look away not even answering. " I'm Alexis but call me Lexi by the way." The boy just laughs, "I didn't want to know that, if I wanted to I would of asked." He goes back to drawing. I was taken back by his response and it did sting. "Well I wanted you to know." I mutter. He sighs and looks up. "Andrew, but please call me Andy." I nod and pull my note book out and start the drawing prompt. I wanted to say something but I don't want to bother. Wow the first day and I already have him to hate me.... "Wrong." I look up confused, "what?" Andy shakes his head "uh nevermind." I shake it off not even going to deal with it. Andy walks over and sits by me and continues his prompt. He looks over at me seeing my confused face. Why didn't he stay across?. He smiles and shakes his head like he heard me. Did I say that out loud?  I shrug maybe I'll never know. "Suicidal much.." I look at Andy with wide eyes and see his eyes at my shirt. My long sleeve had been pulled up and now you can see my cuts. I look down tears briming in my eyes. A peice of paper was planted in front of me with numbers on it. I look over and see Andy with a slight annoyed look? " Call me for the art project and nothing else, oh and do not ever call me during night time." I look over at him. "Why?" He sighs and looks at me. Ya he's annoyed. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. "Just don't. I'm busy during the night" I laugh on the inside. Doing what? Partying. Whatever. I don't plan on calling him at all. Not even for the project.

RING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saved by the Bell. I grab my things rushing out the door heading to my locker and putting my bag up. I head to the locker almost rushing. I walk in and try to look for lyli. No lyli. Wtf. Where is she? Sit at the lunch table and pull out my phone, calling her. No flipping answer. Well fuck. I'm not hungry. "Yes you are" I jump as I here a deep voice say in my mind. Suck a familiar voice. WTF. I heard a voice in my head. I start to freak out and look around hoping it wasn't in my head. Ok I'm crazy. I'm totally crazy. Maybe I'm just parinoid. I shake it off and look back at my phone. When all of a sudden "hey you fat whore" a girly raspy voice says. Juliet..... Great..... I look over and see her and her sluts- I mean group heading towards me. "So you haven't killed yourself yet? What ashame. Maybe you should!" She says dumping milk on my head and walking away. I gasp and stand up, tears beaming in the corner of my eyes, people laughing at me, I look and Justin is to busy talking to Chris and Josh. I look over and see Andy laughing with them. Tears roll down and I run to the bathroom stall and fall to my knees hugging them. I'll be damned if I call him. Maybe Juliet is right. Maybe I should just end it. Maybe I should just go away.... Forever.

I stand up and clean my self off getting the milk out off hair and lap. I fix my make up and hair and walk out. Going to my 2nd hour. I'm so tired.

~time skip to creative writing class~

School has been slow and I'm guessing Andy is only in two of my classes, art and creative. But why should I care. I go to my creative writing class. I like creative writing it's fun. I walk in the classroom taking a seat in the  back. And great I have Chris next to me and Andy on the other side. Fuck. I don't know Andy personally. But so far he's a dick.
" Ok class, in case you didn't know I'm Mr. king, your teacher, and today I want you to work on a paper/poem about your feelings, I want it presented on Friday, so get started" yay a paper about how I feel. Well shit. Fuck my life.

~time skip to end of the day~
I walk home, thinking about what I'm about to do, I haven't talked to Andy, I mean he would comment toel me but I never answered. I go inside and head to my room taking out my anxiety pills. Do I want this? Yes. Will anyone care? Yeah Justin and lyli. Do I care? Not one bit right now. As I'm about to take all of them my phone Buzz's, I had gotten a text from and unknown number

Unknown: don't you even think about it.
My eyes widen. Wtf. But I ignore and again as I  about to take them my phone Buzz's.
Unknown: your going to regret that.

Ok what the hell. I throw my phone and right when I'm puting the bottle to my lips " I SAID STOP!!" The voice was so loud I threw the pills and jumped. The voice and deep... My breathing was heavy and I'm looking around for a sign of someone. That was definitely in my head....

Maybe I shouldn't do this. I thought. I put my pajamas on and climbed in bed freaking out.

What is wrong with me.?.