It was almost 8 in the evening and still no presence of Jungkook here. Yes, I canceled the pizza bond with my friends so that I could talk to Jungkook alone, tonight. Just before I closed my fridge, someone knocked at my door. Hoping it was him, I ran to check who was it.
I felt my muscles tensing, like they were preparing to run as I saw him through the peek-hole, standing in front of my unit.
Will you be able to do it, Lisa?
Letting out a long sigh, I opened my door. As soon as I opened it, he immediately wrapped me in his arms. My knees got weaken when I felt his arms around me. He didn't speak, he just hugged me quietly. I hugged him back to let him know, that things will be alright for him, soon.
"Where are the others?" he asked, pulling away from our hug.
"I canceled it." I answered as I motioned him to take a seat on the sofa.
"Why?" curious, he asked.
"What do you want? Coffee or tea?" I didn't answer him. My mind was lost, preparing for something.
"You" he answered, straight telling me with his eyes locked on mine.
"A coffee then." I looked away just before I changed my mind.
Don't be like that, Jungkook. Please.
I went to the kitchen to get him a coffee as I noticed that he followed me here. Composing myself, I glanced at him.
"What do you need?" I asked, stirring his coffee with a creamer.
"Is there something wrong, Lisa?" surely, he noticed my unusual mood for him to question me like that.
"Here's your coffee" I gave him his cup and gave me my most reassuring smile.
After this, nothing will be wrong and everything will be right for you Kookie.
"You aren't answering my questions, Lisa" he uttered, taking the coffee from me.
I need to do this slowly. Not replying back to him, I gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek then took his hand to pull ourselves in the living room.
For a while, we sat here at my sofa in silence, as I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of Jungkook's breathing. I could pick his breathing out of a crowd. I knew him so well. And clearly, he knew me. This feeling of being romantically in love was everything, and Jungkook made it real.
But the thing was, I still didn't know if I could continue this even if I wasn't sure I wanted to give up. He may not told me, but I knew he was suffering a lot. Seeing his condition right now shifted my heart. There was still so much to consider but one thing I knew for now, was that the only way out... was to find something that you care about
I love him too much, to the point that I was ready to offer the very best for him.
"Kookie?" I called, still leaning my head on his shoulders.
"Yes?" he responded, gently placing his one hand in my thigh. Sudden volts ran inside me but I tried my very best to ignore it.
"Let's end this" I said, releasing the breath I sharply inhaled.
As soon as he heard my words, he sat up straight and face me directly.
"Tell me, you're joking" he shook his head, still not quite believing what he just heard from me.
It was really difficult for me to do this but I have no choice. I knew this solution of mine seemed so stupid but I knew that it would be best for him. Every force was literally prying to get us apart. I know, he loves me. And he knows, I love him. But come to think of it widely and deeply, was it right to continue this relationship if we both knew that almost everyone eyed us (most especially Jungkook) sternly and to make things worst, someone was in the hospital because of us.
I love you Jungkook and I hate to see you suffer from this mess. The best we could do, is to solve this matter maturely.
Hoping that he'll understand me, my fingers went to his back and tangled themselves into a perfect little knot.
"I'm serious" I said, trying to calm him which I know that it was too impossible right now.
"You're just tired tonight. We both are. We should get some rest first and talk again tomorrow, like nothing of this discussed" he said, unlocking my hands from his back. He then stood up and started to get his way through my doorway.
"I'm sorry Jungkook. I want to break-up with you" I lowered my voice to hushed tone as my head was looking down.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, LISA SO DONT YOU DARE TO CRY.
"What the hell Lisa? Can you hear yourself right now?" he stopped and faced me. Enough inches between us.
"Yes. Loud and clear." I said as he stride his figures toward me.
Then, I was startled when Jungkook draped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, and consequently molding our bodies together. Surprised by his sudden embrace, I took a small step back, but our bodies were still within a few inches of each other. His muscular arm loosened slightly, never let me go.
I was about to say something again, but before I just did, Jungkook crushed his lips into mine. As much as I wanted to kiss him back, I resisted. His kiss was harsh, rough and very dark.
"Jungk- mhmm- sto-" I placed my hands on his chest to struggle but he was just unbeatable.
His kiss began to get worse as he lowered his head to my neck. His touch started to get heavy as I felt a slight sting in my shoulders. When I couldn't stop him any longer, I just stayed still. Tears flowing right now in my face.
He stopped, noticing the wetness in my cheeks. I didn't expect that Jungkook would do that. Pressing my lips together, I tasted the blood that was in my lips.
"Shit. Lisa I'm so-"
"I hate you" I muttered as I tried to stop myself from crying but failed.
"No please no, I didn't mean to behave like that." he tried to explain as he ruffled his hair, brown eyes shut momentarily.
"I love you Lisa" he said which instantly ached my heart.
"If you do, you'll do my request so I won't go crazy wondering about what's happening around us right now!" I yelled for him to realize that I was being serious in my decision. I purposely made it about me, for I know he wouldn't stand a chance.
"Fine" expecting that one cold word, he left.
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