Just love me already (PHAN)

Chapter 8: It's okay Phil...

Dan's view

"Yayy! Let's go!" Phil said smiling. Phil hugs me tightly. I hug back and kiss him on the cheek. "It may not be as fancy as steak but it'll do." I said smiling. Phil rubs my back softly. "I don't need a fancy dinner to make me happy. I only need you..." Phil whispered. "Phil that is one of the most cheesiest things you've ever said!" I said laughing. Phil smiles. "Don't worry you'll get more when you're dating the cheesy guy who doesnt like cheese!" Phil said. That makes me laugh harder. Phil leans in to kiss me. I put my hands on his head as he kisses me.

Phil lets go of me and looks out the window. "Dan we're almost here." Phil said as he looked down at his phone. "Okay. We don't have much time as it's 8 and I want a good seat." I said. "Dan you ordered the best seats there." Phil said. "Well... I don't know! Just ugh whatever!" I said as Phil was about to hand some pounds. "Oh no don't need to pay me! You already paid me and my daughter. She would this!" The taxi driver said. "Are you sure?" Phil asks. "Positive." The driver said. "Thanks..." I said as I get out of the car.

We enter the resteraunt and sit down. "So Phil do you want to share the-" Phil interrupts me. "How about we share the teriyaki special?" Phil asks. "Yeah uh okay." I said.

The waiter comes over. "So what would you two like? Maybe drinks to start off?" The waiter asks. "Sure. We'll both just have water." Phil said. "Okay two waters. And are you ready to order?" She asks as she flips her blonde hair. Clearly she's a teen who was forced to get a job by her parents. "Yeah we'll share the teriyaki special." I said. "Okay teriyaki special... And do you want steamed or fried rice?" She asks. "I'll have the steamed rice. Phil do you want fried or steamed?" I ask. "I'll also have steamed rice." Phil said smiling. "Alright. I'm Christina and I'll be your waiter today. I'll get back to you later." She said walking away.

"So Phil... I was wondering... Now that we are dating... Um... I..." I tried to say some thing to Phil but I couldn't. It was too hard. "Dan you can tell me anything." Phil said rubbing my back. "I... I want you to take my razor." I said. Phil removes his hand shocked. "Umm what?" He asks. "It's difficult for me not to cut myself. For months now it's been a routine to cut myself once you fell asleep. I... I can't help myself... It helps... And I figured if I want this relationship to work... I want you to take my razor away from me. I want to be happy. Happy with you. And I know you hate it when I cut myself... And-" I was talking too much I didn't even know that Phil was crying. "And... I dont want to cut myself... Not anymore... I always thought someday I'd be able to kill myself... And I always kept a note in my pocket for if I do die, I'd be able to at least tell you that I've always loved you." I pull out the note from my pocket. "I carried this note and my razor everywhere I went. And days I was thinking about killing myself you'd always find a way to stop me... You'd always be so adorable I couldn't do it." I start to tear up. "The note said this 'Phil... Life is not worth living... You're the only reason I wanted to stay alive.'" I pause. I wipe tears from my eyes. "Umm... 'I love our fans but... I cant take it anymore... It's too hard... I'm sorry... I know you hate it when I cut myself but it helps... It helps my stress... Now there's been something I've always wanted to say... I love you... I always have... I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember... I know you don't feel the same way but... I had to tell this to you... Before I go... I love you Phil... Thanks for being my best friend... See you later... Love Dan.'" I look up from the note and see Phil with his face buried in his hands. I folded the note back up and was about to put it back in my pocket when Phil slapped it out of my hands. "Dan... I'm going to keep this note... To never forget how much I love you. And to never forget the day that Dan stopped cutting himself. As for the razor... I'll keep it..." I interrupt Phil. "You are not going to use my razor..." I said in a weak voice as I wipe tears from my eyes. "I wasnt going to... I mean that I want to keep it in my room hidden. Hidden from both of us... Including my own razor..." Phil said as he looked down at the table crying. "What do you mean your own razor?" I ask. Phil looks up at me slowly with an embarrassed look on his face. He slowly rolls up his shirt showing his stomach with five cuts. "Phil..." I said. Phil turns his head the other direction as he rolls his shirt back down. I hug him tightly as he puts his head on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." Phil said as his tears roll down my blazor. "Don't be... I cant ever be mad at you especially if I cut myself too." I whispered in his ears. Phil hugs me tightly. "So we both agree to never cut ourselves again?" I ask. Phil nods, still hugging me tightly. I kiss Phil's cheek. "Okay... It's official then." I said smiling.

(Authors note)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. You see I can find a way to hate myself. By writing parts of the story like this... Yeah...... Okay bye!